Monthly Archives: October 2012

Man Sweat

Posted on by
Reply

I recently read an interesting article entitled “Why the smell of a man’s armpit is a turn-on” by Fiona Macrae. I find it especially intriguing because we as a cultured do so much to try to cover our natural odors.

According to the article, male sweat contains a compound called Androstadienone. Scientists say that just a few sniffs and a woman’s mood is lightened and her sexual arousal is raised.

I have no doubts about this at all. A good manly smell is such a turn on and now I know that this smell affects me hormonally, physiologically, and psychologically according to the article. What a power packed punch!

Another interesting fact stated in the article is that women on the pill seem to be immune to the smell.

They did another interesting study where women were broken into two groups. One group rated photos of men and the second group rated the same photos but unbeknownst to them they were subjected to the smell of male sweat at the same time. The women in the second group rated the men much higher than the women in the first group.

It was also mentioned in the article that we use smell to find a good match. The more different they smell from us the better the match in regards to the immune system and it keep us from mating with those genetically close to us.

I feel the need to make the pitch to reduce all the unnecessary smells in our lives especially scented laundry detergent. I personally hate to hug someone and get the stinky laundry detergent smell. It’s so egregious that it covers everything else.

This is probably TMI but I adore my husband’s smell and in fact if he has showered I’m not as turned on by his scent. I much prefer his smell by the end of the day!

This leads me to another thought. Can you be in love with someone whose smell you don’t like? I would think not. What do you think?

To all my friends, fans, and their families on the east coast, you are in my thoughts tonight and I hope that you all weathered this storm unharmed.  Here’s hoping the clean up and recovery go quickly and smoothly.  Having experienced too many hurricanes in Florida I now reside in the Great Northwest.

Warm hugs,

Blakely www.amazon.com/author/blakelybennett
http://www.amazon.com/My-Body-His-Blakely-Bennett/dp/1603815236/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349791682&sr=8-1&keywords=My+Body-His
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Body-His-series/359307324147300

Could Lack of Sex Be Killing You?

Posted on by
2

According to Dr. Oz, the leading health problem in the United States isn’t obesity but lack of sex. The average sex life is once a week, thank god I don’t live by that standard! The good doctor says if you increase having sex from once a week to twice a week you will live three years longer. I wonder if that is exponential if you have it even more often.

I hear so much from men about how their wives have just completely lost interest in sex. I have to wonder if it’s because A. they are sucky lovers (sorry guys), B. they don’t work on having a close intimate relationship with their wife, (most women need a connection to want to have sex) or C. their wives need their hormones checked.

According to Dr. Oz’s article, one in seven women has never cum. No orgasms. Zip, nada, zilch. I can’t even imagine it. Guess what the biggest hang up is regarding sex? Can you guess it?  ~People are too scared to talk about sex.~ As I have said before, it’s unfathomable to me because how do you get your needs met if you can’t even communicate them? YOU DON’T!

Dr. Mike Moreno says sex can boost your immune system, reduce the risk of prostate cancer, and protect your heart. Because of the biochemical released, it can reduce stress and make you happier. For women going through menopause, the more sex the better which reduces the chance of vaginal dryness. Dr. Mike agrees with Dr. Oz, sex adds years to your life. Dr. Mike prescribes sex at least three times a week.

I, for one, would like to live a long, healthy life and it’s good to know I’m adding years by having the time of my life.

As always, your thoughts and comments are welcomed.

Warm hugs,

Blakely www.amazon.com/author/blakelybennett
http://www.amazon.com/My-Body-His-Blakely-Bennett/dp/1603815236/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349791682&sr=8-1&keywords=My+Body-His
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Body-His-series/359307324147300

Values and Standards

Posted on by
Reply

Values and standards are an interesting topic to me because they express so many dimensions that can effect a person’s life. I think one of the biggest impacts happens when we allow other people’s standards or values to dictate how we see ourselves or worse how we choose to behave because of fear of rejection or other negative ramifications. Our personal choices are the most powerful attribute we have as humans so why do we give it away?

The timeliest example I can think of has to do with my novels.  When I first tried to find an agent back in early 2009, I still had a very hard time talking about my books.  I felt embarrassed by what I thought other people would think.  Would they think me a sex fiend or assume, as some have, that the story is about me?  Could their opinions of me be so changeable regarding the dream I had chosen?  I think the biggest internal conflict people face is the pull between what they deem as right and good and the pressure that comes from other people’s opinions or worse, judgments.

I believe that relationships can be the hardest arena to navigate these issues.   I’m certain you won’t find any two people who agree on everything. The worst thing you can do in a relationship is take the position that YOUR values and YOUR standards are better/higher than another’s values.  The truth is that a lot of what we buy into is a fundamental part of our upbringing and cultural and even time period. So one’s values are not better than another, just different.

I’m happy to report that my feelings regarding my own works of fiction have changed.  The change came prior to the 50 Shades phenomena but I’m certain that the door has been opened to allow greater acceptance of alternative erotica because of E L James.

In My Body-His, Jane battles this very issue and allows it to create a gulf between her and her best friends.  She assumes her friends will not understand her choices and will instead be judgmental.  Instead of going to them for much needed support, she struggles on her own which leaves her feeling isolated and confused.

I think the best course of action is to feel good about our own choices without worrying too much about what the rest of the world might think about the routes we have chosen.  No greatness has come from following the pathway already carved.

How do differing values and standards effect your life?  Please share with us.

Warm hugs,

Blakely www.amazon.com/author/blakelybennett
http://www.amazon.com/My-Body-His-Blakely-Bennett/dp/1603815236/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349791682&sr=8-1&keywords=My+Body-His
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Body-His-series/359307324147300

First Review of My Body-His

Posted on by
Reply

I’m so excited and wanted to share this with you all. http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/430419917

Let me know what you think.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

www.amazon.com/author/blakelybennett
http://www.amazon.com/My-Body-His-Blakely-Bennett/dp/1603815236/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349791682&sr=8-1&keywords=My+Body-His
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Body-His-series/359307324147300

 

The Love Debate

Posted on by
1

A while back my husband and I debated whether love is something that never dies or something you can fall in and out of. There are people who I have loved but no longer love. It’s my husband’s contention that I was never in love with them in the first place.

I have a less ethereal view of love. I believe love takes time and attention. If love is not nurtured over a long period of time it will wane or change. I also believe love can die or be cut out of you with painful, hurtful, or neglectful behaviors.

My husband asked me how I can be committed to anyone if I believe love can die. One, I don’t see love and commitment as the same thing and two, love that is nurtured stays alive and strong. My relationship with my husband is living proof of that.

I have heard it said, over and over, “I still love her…I’m just not ‘in love’ with her anymore.” I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean. You still care about them but you have no desire to be intimate emotionally or physically?

I think many people confuse love with New Relationship Energy (NRE), lust, and/or limerence. They each inspire all those wonderful biochemicals we get to experience in the beginning of a relationship or romance.

I don’t believe in love at first sight. To me love grows over time. However, I do believe strongly in lust at first sight. Although both Jane and Luke in My Body-His would say that they fell in love at first sight, I would have to argue that chemistry and lust consumed them both to such an extent that it felt like love to them.

I have not loved any other man in the way I love my husband. I have grown and changed over our years together as has my capacity to love. I do believe that if we stopped nurturing our connection that our love would eventually fade away or transform into a different kind of love.  In the same way I believe love evolves over time, I believe love devolves without the necessary attention.

Where do you fall in this debate? Do you believe that love is everlasting? Or do you believe love has the capacity to last a lifetime but can also die out?

Please share your comments.

Warm hugs,

Blakely Bennett
www.amazon.com/author/blakelybennett
http://www.amazon.com/My-Body-His-Blakely-Bennett/dp/1603815236/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349791682&sr=8-1&keywords=My+Body-His
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Body-His-series/359307324147300

A Day I Will Never Forget

Posted on by
Reply

Today is a day I will not soon forget. I’m so excited to announce that My Body-His is available for pre-sale on Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/My-Body-His-Blakely-Bennett/dp/1603815236/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349278898&sr=8-1&keywords=My+Body-His

Each step in the process is bringing me closer and closer to fulfilling a long standing dream. I remember writing stories and poetry in my early 20s and dreaming of having my novel chosen for Oprah’s book club. Gone is Oprah’s show but the dream has never faded. I still hope to get on a talk show, do book signings, and see my novels on the New York Best Seller’s Lists. My daughter’s pick is for me to get on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Still a long way for me to go, I know, but so much closer than I have ever been.  🙂

I feel emotional and elated today. People have told me they pre-ordered the book and it’s made me tear up. My husband and daughters are so excited as well.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me in becoming a published author.  Words of encouragement go a long way. Thank you!

Warm hugs,

Blakely
http://www.amazon.com/Blakely-Bennett/e/B009LB3420
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Body-His-series/359307324147300

 

 

Orgasm

Posted on by
2

My husband and I were joking around that we should open a place called the Orgasium; combining the words gymnasium and orgasm. It would be a place where people could learn to have and give intense long lasting orgasms. Not sure our culture is ready for that, yet. I still hold out hope.

What is an orgasm really? For me it’s the culmination of an intense energy explosion that shoots all these fantastic biochemicals through my system giving me the best high imaginable without any long lasting side effects except the desire to do it again! According to Wikipedia, an orgasm is the peak of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle, characterized by an intense sensation of pleasure. Yeah, that’s what I meant. 😉

I find the release one of the hardest things to describe and as my publisher/editor so kindly pointed out and I can’t use, “waves of pleasure”, over and over.  🙂

Did you know that the clit is the only organ whose sole purpose is sexual pleasure? I have often wondered why it’s situated above the vaginal opening as it seems to be a flawed design. If the clitoris was located just inside the vagina…wow! I also wonder why such a small percentage of women can have orgasms solely through intercourse and yet in movies and books (even mine in some places) that’s all it takes to get a woman to cum leaving women feeling somehow inferior because they can’t orgasm that way.

I think it’s vitally important that a person know how to make themselves cum. I was shocked to find out my college roommate had never ever masturbated. How can you show your partner what makes you feel good enough to cum if you yourself do not know?

I don’t think the orgasm is the most important part of sex, just the best part! I think the best way to get the orgasms you really desire is to be connected, along with open and honest communication and self-exploration with your partner.

What do you think?