I just finished reading a very interesting article by Emma Gray on Huffington Post called BDSM Correlated With Better Mental Health, Says Study. It’s a fascinating read and there is a video clip as well.
Please let me clarify that they don’t mean that participating in the act of BDSM is what causes better mental health as opposed to their vanilla counterparts. The supposition of the researchers who ran the study is that because BDSM lives outside of the “norm”, it causes people to be more self-reflective which may lead to a happier life. They also believe that because kinky types of sex practices requires much more communication and self-disclosure, that those who participate may have closer, more connected relationships.
As someone who took many psych classes in college including research methods, their 
study is a bit thin. However, I tend to agree with the findings anyway. As I have mentioned many times on my blog, communication is the key to a closer relationship and better sex. Willingness to share fantasies that fall outside of the norm requires trust and also a knowing of oneself.
Healthy BDSM relationships use safewords and other forms of communication necessary to safely explore the depths of their desires. There seems to be something very powerful within relationships where one person willingly relinquishes control while the other takes the responsibility for having it.
The most upsetting part of the article for me was the reminder that BDSM and other fetishes fall in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) under paraphilia which means abnormal sexual activity. BDSM is a choice, not a psychological dysfunction!
Why as a society do we need to all be alike? For me, any sexual activity done between consenting adults is none of my business and shouldn’t be anyone else’s. As I have mentioned before, I do not live the BDSM lifestyle but find it truly fascinating to think about and write into my novels.
As a writer I get to travel to places I dare not go and am looking forward to my next adventure. 😉 Where do your fantasies take you? Are you with a partner that encourages you to talk about them? Take a chance this week and risk sharing one of your fantasies with your lover.
Love to read your comments on this post.
Warm hugs,
Blakely
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This is a fascinating idea, and I applaud the fact that you recognise their methods are a bit thin, even as you state that you support the ideas. It’s certainly something to think about – thanks for the read!
Thanks for the comment and for staying in touch with my blog.
Blakely
Some of the attraction of BDSM is that it is out of the norm of what society accepts as normal. It also is a fine line that is flirted with as a choice by the participants and psychological dysfunction…probably another reason people may be attracted to it, we all like to feel a little crazy now and then!
Your comment made me laugh but I must agree. We all like crazy, now and again. 🙂
Blakely
As a fellow student of psychology, I agree. Left a little something to be desired.
However.. if NORMAL is defined as someone totally lacking any psychological disorder… I’ve yet to meet a normal person. We all have different kinks. Some of us are just a bit more accepting than others. I DO feel, though, that the fact that we have our own classification in the DSM is yet another reason the general public remains so grossly misinformed… and why for the most part, lifestylers stay in that leather closet.
I have nothing against mental health professionals. I have a degree in psychology. I am on daily medication for anxiety and depression.. because a chemical imbalance can’t be fixed with a flogger. (Believe me.. tried). But I freely admit that the D/s relationship I have with my husband has been more beneficial to me than YEARS of therapy. It is absolutely about the trust. That’s the fundamental part in ANY relationship.
I was never able to attain the level of trust with a psychologist that I have with my Husband.
I am neither perfect nor cured… but I’m doing much better now than ever before, and I fully credit that to our BDSM lifestyle.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience.
Blakely
While there are a lot of “damaged” people into BDSM, when it works it seems to work really well. The dominant is placed in a position of trust and authority, while the submissive has to trust them implicitly. On the flip side, the needs of the submissive have to be understood and catered to by the dominant. It’s very complex, and as a writer of BDSM fiction I try and capture this complexity and depth of trust and understanding.
I believe there are “damaged” people in any lifestyle and that for some it can border on abuse. However, I totally agree with you and I too strive to capture all different facets in the lifestyle. The good and the bad.
Blakely