Category Archives: Author’s Blog Posts

Finding a Great Editor

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http://www.thewriteconnection.net/

http://www.thewriteconnection.net/

When venturing into self-publishing, the most important area to spend your hard-earned money on is an editor. No one, in my opinion, should be their own editor or let their friends or family have a go at it for them.

Fortunately, finding an editor has been relatively easy for us. All editors, of any value that is, will offer to do a sample of your novel for you. This way, you can see what they have to offer and compare their sample with others. Continue reading →

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!

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Found at jennifersway.org

Found at jennifersway.org

We have so much to be thankful for and as my husband will readily tell you, it’s my favorite food holiday. I’m so grateful for my husband who is totally supportive of me chasing the dream and is the love of my life, my daughter who I’m convinced is the best teenager in the world, my step-daughters, my parents, my siblings and our abundant communities of friends. Being an author, I have made some stellar online friends that deserve a SO as well. Thanks to all of you who are part of this crazy journey I call my life. Happy Thanksgiving weekend to all my stateside friends. Continue reading →

True Connection

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www.redefiningthefaceofbeauty.com

www.redefiningthefaceofbeauty.com

I had an interesting conversation with a friend about disciplining children. I have always contended that violence to a child is completely unnecessary. In fact, I believe it sends the wrong message. However, I could see her point that growing up on a farm and all the dangers present there created a culture of expedient punishment.

I shared an example from a time where our daughter went through a violent stage. It makes completely no sense to me that I would hit her because she hit or bit me. What the hell would that teach? Because I’m bigger and in charge, it’s okay for me to use violence? Instead—and believe me, she gave us a run for our money between 2 ½ and 4—what I said was that she needed to learn to use her words to communicate how she was feeling and not her hands, feet or teeth (yes, she was a bitter.) I also said, “Do I hit you when I’m angry or upset?” She said, “No.” “Do I hit Daddy when I’m upset?” She said, “No.” I believe modeling is the most effective way to teach children. The motto, “Do what I say, not what I do,” is utter bullshit. We, as humans, learn by example. Fortunately for us, the violent stage past quickly.

I believe if you are connected with your children, it’s far easier to use other methods of discipline that do not include violence, because the child actually cares what you feel, and in turn you care what they feel. Continue reading →

Masters of Sex

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masters_of_sex_logoI rarely recommend a TV show because it’s very uncommon that there is one that I find so entertaining and intriguing. Masters of Sex on Showtime is based on Thomas Maier’s biography Masters of Sex: The Life and Times of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, the Couple Who Taught America How to Love and is one I highly recommend you check out.

The bio-series is set in St Louis, Missouri, in 1956. The show is about sex, desire, orgasm and Masters and Johnson’s efforts to test and quantify it. The characters are dynamic, well-acted and interesting. Relationships are diverse, like Masters’ relationship with his wife and their struggles to have a baby, the gay provost of the hospital and his unsuspecting wife who has never had an orgasm, Johnson’s relationship with her ex-husband and her challenge to juggle work as a single mother. However, the most fascinating evolving relationship is the one between William Masters and Virginia Johnson. Continue reading →

Blog Hop!

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Blog Hop!  Tag!  You’re It!

blog-hopThis is my first ever blog hop (thanks for the invite Robyn Roze!) and I’m excited to participate. This is another great way that authors support other authors. I, like Robyn, have met so many wonderful people, authors and readers, through my published novels who in turn have become my friends. Stephanie, Serena, Sydney, Pepper, and Teresa have proved to be real friends and the first two have also become my beta readers. Stephanie is also the artist that created our amazing cover for The Demarcation of Jack. Getting to hear from fans of my work is priceless and keeps me motivated to write more stories. Thanks again to all the people who share my posts, participate in my events, Tweet and RT, and generally make my day with your words of support and wisdom. Continue reading →

Bringing Yourself Along for the Ride

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roller_coasterI never truly realized, until I became an author, how much readers bring of themselves to any story they read; their perceptions, life experiences, pet peeves and much more. It makes sense to me and reminds me of the literature classes I took in college. I always found myself wondering if the so-called “meaning” of the stories we read were really the author’s intentions or just that particular teacher’s interpretation or a school of thought. Continue reading →

What’s it Like to Write with Your Husband?

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DSC_0280resizeI’ve gotten this question often and it’s usually accompanied by, “I could never work with my husband. How do you do it?” The writing and creating process is rather easy when we work together. The writing goes a lot faster because if either of us is stuck on a scene, we can pass it off to the other. However, working with someone else requires an outline and a very different style of writing than when I’m working on my own.

On my own, I don’t plan, outline or figure out the end until I get there. I let my characters lead me through the story. When I write with my husband (Dana), I don’t have that same luxury because the story must have structure so we can both move forward with the storyline. However, we have lots of fun writing together. Continue reading →

The Remarkable Journey from Traditional to Self-Publishing

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doj-ebookcover copyWe are on the precipice of self-publishing our first title called The Demarcation of Jack, coming out November 7th. We are so excited to have the bulk of the formatting work done. Wow, what a learning curve on all of that. I found it crazy, frustrating, and daunting that each vendor had its own formatting requirements. On the bright side, I have learned so much that the next time should be a breeze.

We found a very reasonable editor and cover artist so our financial outlay stayed pretty low. Time wise, self-publishing was a much larger investment. However, the ability to track our sales, get the bulk of royalties and be in charge of our product is priceless.

Since my publisher didn’t offer much in the way of promotion, that outlay of time has stayed the same. Well sort of. LOL! Social media seems to ramp up on its own and these days it’s hard to stay on top of it. Of course, becoming our own publisher requires more time elsewhere so I seem to be forever falling behind on my friendship request, page likes, event invites, etc. (I promise to catch up after the release date!)

We are having an online giveaway party the day of the release and we already have over 45 prizes to give away. You can join the Release Party and Big Giveaway for The Demarcation of Jack and enter the Rafflecopter giveaway.

Again I must remark on all the wonderful relationships I have forge with other authors and readers as well. I have found the community to be so supportive and helpful. I can simply type a question on my Facebook wall or tweet the question and other authors will step up and offer advice. I love that we can be supportive instead of competitive like is found in other industries.

As you may have noticed, I have transferred my blog to my new website. I hope you all like it. I will still be hosting author interviews on Fridays so if you’re interested, contact me and let me know.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
And like the My Body Trilogy Facebook page.
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Do-ers and Be-ers

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7-lazy-in-bed-636So what do I mean by Do-ers and Be-ers? Are you a busy bee or more laid back?

I used to fall into the Be-er category. I didn’t fill my life with a lot of “things” to do. Downtime rated really high for me. I would put it in gear when it came to work and getting things done (my house could still have used more attention) but I imagine most Do-ers would’ve considered me lazy by comparison.

A Do-er is someone who is always on the go. Their lives are jam packed full of activities, events, obligations, work, etc. They love their life very full and their need for downtime is minimal. I have, at times, wondered what they are running from or running too but these days I think that’s an arrogant assumption. I recognize that we are all made up differently and there are pluses and minuses to both styles.

Since becoming a published author in the throes of writing, editing, promoting and the ever revolving treadmill of social media, I find myself more of the Do-er than a Be-er. However, I do dream of a time when I can get back to some of my Be-er ways.

One thing my husband and I have in common is that when we are in “work mode” we plow full steam ahead, pushing hard to get the project done. And when we lazy around, we rather enjoy that as well.

I wonder if a Do-er and a Be-er could be involved in a long-term relationship. I imagine they could compromise and do certain things separately. Maybe it could be good with at least one person keeping the couple on task. I think my husband and I split up that job although I do most of it (waiting to hear his comment on that!). LOL!

And you, are you a do-er or a be-er?  Or a healthy combination of both?

Are any of my readers out there in a “mixed” marriage? How do you make it work?

My husband and I are lucky because we are both do-er writers, but we can easily fall into a bed day and let our characters fend for themselves for a while. And sometimes while “being”, new cool ideas pop for the do-er part of our lives.

Hope everyone is snuggling up during this cold fall.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
And like the My Body Trilogy Facebook page.
Find me Twitter & Pinterest.

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Does Love Affect Your Sense of Smell?

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SmellAs writer of erotica and romance, I work hard to include all the senses in the act of making love throughout my novels. Lying in bed this morning, snuggling with my husband, I pondered if loving someone amplifies the pleasure that comes from smelling their natural fragrance. I love my husband’s smell and prefer it over colognes, soaps and the over use of laundry soap fragrance. Go unscented! I could rant a whole blog on the over use of fake fragrances, but let’s not. 🙂

It could just be me, because I’m very olfactory sensitive, but I do think love changes how someone smells to you. Back in my twenties I remember how my ex-boyfriend’s smell altered as soon as we broke up. And in all honesty, I’ve wondered over the years how some of the people put up with their spouse’s breath and body odor.

There have been a few colognes that I’ve been fond of, but never more than my lover’s natural aroma. Most perfume (which I do not wear) and aftershaves make me sneeze so I tend to stay away from the stuff.

I do believe that as we’ve evolved, us humans, we have learned to rely less on our sense of smell. I think that’s a huge mistake. I can tell if my husband, or our cat for the matter, is stressed out based on their scent. Maybe we would make better love matches for ourselves if we didn’t douse ourselves with so many different fragrances. I’m not above it but I do keep it to a minimum. I use scented shampoo and condition and a mild smelling soap, but my deodorant and detergent are scent free.

I have known people who practically bath in perfume and their smell wafts toward you ten feet before they approach. To me it’s more like a shield than offering allure.

I, for one, could not have a lover whose aroma I didn’t enjoy. Sex for me definitely includes my olfactory system. My husband may say this is TMI, but I love the smell of sex. Such a turn on!

So back to the art of writing which is how I started this blog. When crafting a sex scene it’s important to make it very visual and easy for the reader to follow. For me it’s also important to include sound, touch, and smell which gives the setting dimension. At least for me as a reader, I have to get lost in the scene to get turned on and the more realism we can write in, the more easily accomplished.

So I’m very curious who else might have this experience with smell. Do you love your partner’s natural scent? Has that changed over the years? Do you like making love straight out of the shower or more like me, prefer it after the smell of soap has worn away?

I smell a story coming on. 😉 Please share your thoughts.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
And like the My Body Trilogy Facebook page.
Find me Twitter & Pinterest.

Email Me