I read an article about women in their seventies still having sex (partnered and solo). It started me thinking about what it might be like when I’m in my seventies. It also brought up for me—again—men’s general fascination with younger women. My husband is fifteen years older than I. Continue reading
I recently watched two documentaries that I think are worth discussing. The first was called The Unhung Hero, about a man who after publicly proposing to his girlfriend at a large sporting event suffered a brutal turndown and found out later the main reason for her declining had to do with the size of his penis (too small). The second story called Aroused was a video/photo shoot by the fine art photographer Deborah Anderson who featured sixteen of the world’s most successful female adult film stars. Continue reading
An online friend and I recently had a somewhat heated debate about paying for reviews. He told me about a website, where he had signed up, that has a requirement to provide gift cards in exchange for potential reviews. I said something like, “I’m unwilling to pay money to get reviews.” For him, since it wasn’t a direct exchange, money for a review, it was completely fine.
We all get to decide, thankfully, where our personal line of ethics lies.
I have been asked by other authors to “post a review” in exchange for a review of my book. I wouldn’t even have to read the novel and they would tell me what to write. Of course I declined. Is it wrong that I want to sink or swim on my own merit?
There are people on FB that offer reviews for a fee. I’m completely against this. My debate partner tried to equate giving my book away for free with paying for a review. I completely and vehemently disagreed. Yes, we can place a value on an eBook (although it costs me nothing to provide one) or even a paperback but I don’t feel like I’m BUYING a review by providing a reviewer with a free copy.
You can find plenty of websites where you can pay a rather steep fee to get to be reviewed on their site. To me a book is either good or not and there are so many different free sites to get your book noticed that I don’t want to pay my hard earned money to support an industry that exploits its writers.
I became rather irritated during the debate and I realized why it happened after the fact. I’m perfectly okay with having a difference of opinion with people and many people who read this post will probably think there is nothing wrong with paying money to get your book promoted any way they can. It’s a business, right? However, when someone argues with me as if their position is the only one that makes sense; I want to slap the imagined smirk off their face. Not truly, since I’m the non-violent creative type, but I think I’ve illustrated my point.
Where do you fall along the divide? Please share your thoughts with us.
Warm hugs to all my readers and a special hug to my debate partner,
Blakely
Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
Find me Twitter & Pinterest.
I’m sure it’s like this with most dreams. There is the fantasy of how it will be and then the stark realism of the truth.
DREAM: Picture me with tons of book sales, huge advances, bookstores clamoring to have me do book signings at their establishments, talk show hosts banging down my door, and two hot men in tight white shorts, waving big feathered fans on either side of me to keep me cool. Okay, I got a little carried away, but I think you get the point.
REALITY: Your publisher will take most of your royalties and you will have to promote yourself non-stop, getting your books into the physical stores takes emotional mountain climbing skills and you will need to put out at least six novels until you are really noticed. OUCH! Continue reading
That would be me. Patience has never been my strong suit. I remember being a kid and how waiting in line was pure torture for me—really—waiting for anything. That is, until I realized I could create a story in my head while I waited. Walking home from school, I would sing a song I made up on the fly or fantasized about my latest fictional adventure.
I guess you could say my impatience lead me to be an author. That and my love of reading. Continue reading
![reality-check[1]](http://blakelybennett.fannypress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/reality-check1.jpg)
I’ve skirted around this topic before, talking about people’s differing perceptions of the same situation. Do we ever really perceive reality as it actually is? Without filtering it, altering it through our filters of life experience? I really do not think so.
My husband and I watch Through the Worm Hole with Morgan Freeman and they had an amazing episode on reality. The part I remember had to do with the sounds “fa” and “ba”. Say fa and ba and see how differently they sit in your mouth. So, if you watch a video of someone saying the ba sound but is actually mouthing fa, you will actually hear fa. However if you close your eyes and don’t watch the mouth moving, you hear the actual ba sound. What does that all mean? Well to me it means that our brain filters information beyond just what is present.
My husband and I are on the opposite spectrum when it comes to storytelling. For me, accuracy (as accurate as I can be given my perception of reality) is most important. However, for my husband, who comes from a family of storytellers, the enjoyment of the story in humor or intensity is most important. So facts and details sometimes get over inflated or understated if it suits the story better.
I keep that in mind when I listen to people relating details to me. First off, I remind myself that there are many sides to an issue. When people talk in extremes and absolutes like, always, never, every day, for hours on end, etc., that’s a sign to me that they are inflating the details of the events.
I think reality TV is much like reality and if you are scoffing, please give me a moment to explain. In reality TV they reshoot scenes to make them better, just like we replay scenes in our head (which can actually alter our thinking of a situation when we are emotionally charged and reviewing events). Throw in other people who are equally emotionally charged and lots of drama and rewriting of history can ensue.
The best personal example happened to me in my early twenties. In a dorm I lived in where you had to sign up to use the laundry facilities. One day, during my time-slot, another woman was doing her laundry and seemed rather angry. I had never met her before. We had a very brief interaction where, at least to me, she seemed pissed off with me.
As a few weeks past, every time we crossed paths she seemed to be glaring in my direction. One day, after I couldn’t take it anymore, I drummed up the courage to ask her why she was angry at me. Turns out, she didn’t even remember who I was. All the rest of the drama, I created for myself. It was definitely one of the most eye opening experiences that really changed my outlook on life, perception and reality.
As a writer, I have to remember that it’s incumbent upon me to create a believable “reality” that readers can buy into. My characters are usually a great guide in letting me know what the “reality” of the situation really is. I tend to trust my muse but still do research when necessary.
So do we every truly know the true nature of reality? I don’t think so because we can’t help but filter it through our own life experiences.
Thanks for taking the time to read and please share your thoughts on the matter.
Warm hugs,
Blakely
Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
And like the My Body Trilogy Facebook page.
Find me Twitter & Pinterest.
I have slept in the nude since I can remember, at least from the time I dressed myself for bed, or in my case, undressed for my impending slumber. I always found wearing clothes to be uncomfortable, confining and slightly claustrophobic.
Being a nudist, it’s surely not surprising that I prefer nakedness during sleep. However, until just recently I didn’t know there were huge benefits to sleeping in the buff. Thanks to my husband, who often sends me fodder to consider for my blog, I now know and will share the information with you!
The very first one I’m going to divvy up really made me chuckle and applies to women only. It is healthier for your vagina, pussy, hoo-hoo (just for you Melissa), fanny or lady bits. Although bacteria and yeast always exist in that special warm place, it’s really beneficial to air it out. Go for it ladies!
You will also sleep better at night if you are cooler rather than warm. Your body is meant to cool off as you sleep which boosts your anti-aging hormones. A great cool night of sleep also helps your overall body composition because it increases your fat burning (you can actually lose belly fat!) and appetite suppression.
I think I need to sleep more! Off to take a nap, sans clothing.
Okay I’m back and refreshed and looking thinner already. 😉 Now I shall continue sharing other wonderful benefits of sleeping in your birthday suit.
This one is my favorite benefit. If you sleep with your partner (who is also naked) and touch and cuddle during the night like my husband and I do, you will get to experience the feel good hormone, oxytocin. Oxytocin helps bond you with your partner and has other wonderful benefits too. This lovely natural drug decreases depression, blood pressure, stress and intestinal inflammation. Who knew? Plus, and I’m sure you all sorted this one out for yourselves, people tend to have more sex when they sleep together naked! Got to love that benefit. Morning sex, here we come!!
Probably the most important benefit of sleeping naked is a better night of sleep. Better sleep means a better day in my book.
I was also surprised that only one in ten people sleep in the nude. So come on friends, readers, authors, family, and strangers, give it a go.
As always, I love to read your comments!
Warm hugs and keep chasing the dream,
Blakely
Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
And like the My Body Trilogy Facebook page.
Find me Twitter & Pinterest.