Polishing the Pearl

129031400_11d6973b9e_zPolishing the pearl is the phrase my husband and I use for massaging the clit. It can be of the masturbatory variety or partnering. “Honey, would you like me to polish your pearl in the morning?” or “Did you polish your pearl while I was at work?” YES and I sure did! A tongue can also polish the pearl and that is what brings me to this particular blog.

A young male friend of mine asked me for advice about good techniques for going down on a woman. What follows is what I said to him: Continue reading

Is Reading Erotica Good for You?

What every girlNow let me explain before you go shaking your head like Lainie often does in Bittersweet Deceit (out August 5th). You might be shocked to find out that reading erotica, especially for women who are experiencing a drop in their libido, will help revive or amp up their sex life. There are plenty of the health benefits, which come from masturbation as well. Women going through “the change” greatly reduce their symptoms of dryness and hot flashes with regular orgasms.

Reading can help get you in the mood for some loving as I’ve been told from my readers time and again. Some even reread the scenes they like the best to get revved up. Many have mentioned reading the stories out loud to their partner. Continue reading

Does Writing a Sex Scene Turn You On?

turned-on-womanI have participated in many interviews, however a close male friend of mine asked me one of the best questions I have ever been asked. “Is writing a sex scene mechanical or does it turn you on?” Here is what I said, “If it’s not turning me on, then I’m doing something wrong.” Do I orgasm when I’m writing a sex scene? No, but that would be a nice perk. LOL! Continue reading

A Man’s Fascination with a Younger Woman

rushdie1I read an article about women in their seventies still having sex (partnered and solo). It started me thinking about what it might be like when I’m in my seventies. It also brought up for me—again—men’s general fascination with younger women. My husband is fifteen years older than I. Continue reading

The SIZE of Things

136544000114312934858001199_DNews__0200__040513__penis_size_ARI recently watched two documentaries that I think are worth discussing. The first was called The Unhung Hero, about a man who after publicly proposing to his girlfriend at a large sporting event suffered a brutal turndown and found out later the main reason for her declining had to do with the size of his penis (too small). The second story called Aroused was a video/photo shoot by the fine art photographer Deborah Anderson who featured sixteen of the world’s most successful female adult film stars. Continue reading

What’s Trending Now

Edge-of-Love-1As an author who writes erotica, it is incumbent on me to stay abreast (no pun intended) of the latest trends in sexual behavior. While doing research, I have recently discovered a study about the rise in reporting of women on women sex both here in the US and in the UK. It is believed that the change is due to the shift in society in regards to same sex relationships, allowing women to more comfortably explore different sides of their sexuality. In addition, the advent of the internet has made finding potential partners easier. Continue reading

Bush or no Bush – To Hair is Human, but to Trim is Divine

http://ethnichealthcourt.com/

http://ethnichealthcourt.com/

As requested by an online friend, I’m parting the hairs of the nether regions to find out people’s preferences. As to my personal preference: I like smooth lips but hair on the mound for a woman. Something more than a thin landing strip. I most definitely DO NOT like men shaved, but trimmed is fine. Men devoid of pubic hair, reads effeminate to me, and I like my men manly. A female with a bald pussy reminds me of a prepubescent girl, but I certainly can understand the want of uncovering the lips and clit for better access. Continue reading

The Origins of the Orgasmic Phenomena

ryan460Many times I have heard stories from men (keep that in mind) about women who cum from simple nipple suckling, or thigh massage (no clitoral touch), or kissing alone, and most recently hair pulling at the nap of the neck. I’m not sure if I’m one of the sad few who don’t cum that way or if our faking sisters are giving us a bad name. Now don’t get me wrong, all those things turn me on but a climax isn’t imminent without clitoral attention.

I am committed to writing authentic sex scenes, not just to arouse, but also to help people to become better lovers and partners. I don’t write pornography perpetuating the stereotypical manly man bringing a woman to orgasm by his mere presence. I want it real. I want foreplay. Continue reading

The Female Orgasm

OrgasmA long time male friend of mine and I have this ongoing debate about the female orgasm. According to him, almost all of his lovers have been able to orgasm vaginally and if you do the math, either he is extraordinarily lucky or has a wonder-schlong or a good percentage of the women were faking it. I believe and have expressed adamantly, that most of the women must have been faking it.

From several different sources I have found roughly the same statistic. 70%-80% percent of woman CANNOT have orgasms from intercourse alone. I, myself, fall into this category. In addition, several sources repeated this same sad statistic that 10-15 percent of women have trouble reaching orgasm at all. Continue reading

Whaaaaaat? Self Pleasure Over Intimacy?

Man masturbatingI find it incredibly fun to discover something I had absolutely no idea about, especially when I also find it baffling.

Did you know that some men sometimes PREFER masturbating over having sex? I had to wrap my brain around that one. I can’t imagine preferring to masturbate over having sex and my husband concurs (thanks honey!).

So I was chatting online with a friend from England and he told me this gem of information. I thought it might just be him, that men in general couldn’t possibly feel that way. Me being me, I decided to check it out and I was blown away that several other men said the same thing.

Sometimes they would rather watch porn and ride the edge of orgasm than have sex with their wives. Maybe that is saying something about their sex lives at home, but I’m just guessing. One man said that the sex with his wife had become so routine (her choice) that sometimes he would rather play on his own and search for the perfect porn to watch. Another man said that he likes to look at pictures and make it last a long time. Another guy said that masturbation is a way for him to act out his true desires because his wife is repressed.

I am happy to say that more than half the men I spoke to said they would much rather have sex than masturbate. Since I had assumed it was a given, I still find it shocking that men would rather jerk off than make love, fuck or have sex with a partner.

I do wonder if it’s the same for women. That’s definitely something to ponder.

As a writer, I’m always on the hunt for new word choices to describe the sex act and our private parts. I wrote a rather funny blog, at least I think so anyway, about words for the female anatomy which you can find here: Pussy Willow

When it comes to masturbation, I believe it’s a healthy outlet and a great way to learn about your body so you can teach what you like to others. There are lots of interesting terms to describe the act. For instance (A big thanks to my friends from the Naught Book Club for helping me with my list!):

1. Hand job
2. Five knuckle shuffle
3. Jerking off
4. Rubbing one out
5. Playing with yourself
6. Flying solo
7. Beating off
8. Diddle
9. Jacking off
10. Jilling off (Thanks Amber)
11. Pet the pussy
12. Wank
13. Slap the salami
14. Choke the Chicken
15. Wack the sack
16. Shooting off
17. Friggin’
18. Popping your nuts
19. Rosey Palm and her five sisters
20. Cranking the shaft
21. Spanking the monkey
22. Polishing the pole

As you can see the list could be endless. Feel free to add yours in the comment section.

No matter what we call it, I believe it’s a wonderful release we can give to ourselves. And as long as it doesn’t become an all-consuming activity, I say, “Yank the pud, fer sure.”

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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