In my first blog on expectations I wrote about positive and negative filters but didn’t address being invested in a particular outcome. I remember a great example of a time when my expectations were sorely tested. One Saturday morning, the only day that week we had to sleep in, we were lying in bed beginning to get amorous but still not quite part of the waking world when the phone rang at 9:00 AM…rude on a Saturday in my not so humble opinion.
This was back when I was doing bookkeeping and there was a meeting set for the morning. I had previously provided them with the reports they had requested but the man on the phone wanted more. So I booted up my computer and shot over more reports. Then, before I could steal back to bed, another call came in asking me financial questions that my brain was not up to speed to answer. Keep in mind this meeting was formed and called at the last minute on a Saturday morning which I was NOT required to attend. Turns out the financial question was a simple one that had I been asked later in the day would have been blatantly apparent but instead, an hour passed until it was resolved. Anger had done its job by that point in waking me up completely.
So what does all of that have to do with expectations? By the time the impromptu phone conference finished, neither my husband nor I were in the head space to head back to bed. Our expectations for our Saturday morning were shot and really affected our mood.
My idealized self is a go-with-the-flow kind of woman but the truth of me is that a very aggravating meeting first thing in the morning messed with my mojo. I’m happy to say we were able to shake it off by that evening and had a wonderful Sunday together but it certainly made me think about how attached I am to my expectations.
To me it felt especially harsh given that Saturdays are MY time with my husband and I hate when other people’s piss poor planning effects my day. The hardest part was being aware of how much it impacted both my husband and me. It did, however, stimulate another blog for me to write so it wasn’t all bad. 😉
I do tend to be flexible about change especially when it’s not interfering with my free time. My husband and daughter have a harder time adjusting to unexpected change and it’s a good thing to know about a person. It makes it easier to understand why someone gets upset when things go in an unexpected direction.
I know I could have chosen not to answer the phone that morning and if I had to do it all over again I probably would have let the call go to voice mail. Next time I will.
I must add the caveat that for people like me, who like surprises, the unexpected can sometimes be very welcomed. Just don’t get me out of bed early when I have other things on my mind!
How do you handle unexpected changes when you have expectations of how something will go? Is it easy for you to let it roll off your back or do you have a hard time adjusting? Please share your comments and stories.
Warm hugs,
Blakely
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I’ve noticed your map and I have to say that I am impressed with the apparent followers from around the globe. The reason I am commenting is that I was wondering if this is meeting your expectations or exceeding them. It must be very reinforcing.
I’m really curious to know how all the people are getting to my blog. I love to see people checking it out from all over the world. I hope it continues to spread and more people find their way here. I’m not sure I had a certain expectation. I like how it’s going so far. Thanks for asking.
Blakely 🙂