Being human can be odd at times. Somewhere along the line, most of us decided good emotions are preferable and the bad ones should be avoided, shoved down, and/or pushed away. It’s quite understandable because pain, jealousy, anger, and hate can be very uncomfortable. The problem with closing off from the “bad” emotions is that we dull our ability to feel the good ones.
My lovely husband says I live with an open heart. He said that to me just the other day when I teared up as I was sharing something that really inspired me. Don’t get me wrong in thinking I have an easy time with the harder emotions. I don’t. Over the years I’ve learned ways to shun them like eating too many sweets. However, more and more, I’m learning how to greet them equally into my life. The older I get, the more I understand the importance of the supposed “good” and the “bad”.
For example: I’m still feeling pain and joy from our daughter’s departure to her university. I don’t want to deaden either emotion because they are real and it’s what makes me alive. It also tells me how much I love my daughter and want the best for her.
A wonderful new friend of mine, Deb, said to me that we are much alike in that we both feel deeply. I believe that is true. I also believe that it helps make me a writer who can move people with words because I channel my emotions into my writing. I literally feel what my characters are experiencing and type it onto the page. Plus, emotions can be very informative and the more open I’m willing to be, the more I can trust my intuition and gut reactions.
Historically, the worst feeling for me came with rejection. When I first started as a published author, a bad review could put me into a tailspin. Maybe because I have several more books out and avoid reading the rare bad review, it doesn’t bother me so much anymore. Having a deep abiding love with another makes a huge difference too, at least it does for me. It creates a stable foundation in which to take on the world.
Thankfully, I’ve rarely had to contend with jealousy but having had a few brushes with it makes me understand how it can drive an individual to act in ways he/she might not otherwise behave. I can also understand why some choose to close off from their emotions. Life can be hard and unkind. However, it can also be joyous and moving and beautiful and you don’t want to miss out on those experiences too. At least I don’t.
Another side benefit for me, living with my heart open, is that I can feel other people’s energy. I don’t mean like reading auras or anything like that. I can clearly feel whether or not I like a person’s energy or if I feel safe near it. Nothing feels better than when my husband’s and my energy merge. I think that’s why I love snuggling with him so much and other things. 😉
So here’s my plug for opening your heart just a wee bit wider. Next time you hug someone you really care about, breath into it and consciously open your heart as you embrace. You won’t be sorry.
Warm openhearted hugs,
Blakely
Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
Find me on Twitter & Pinterest.
Amazon
Keep on with that open heart
Thanks! That’s the plan.
Food for the mind, Blakely. I thing this is something that may come also by ageing (don’t get me wrong, but I’m about the age of your daughters 🙂 ), however it’s never too early to start living with your same attitude.
I think mind-body balanced exercises like yoga can help people acknowledge. I don’t know if you agree with me though 🙂
As far as I’m concerned, the worst feeling is hate. Hate can quickly escalate. Many other bad feelings are related with hate: jealousy, anger, fear.
Keeping a positive attitude and embrace folks’ love can fight them, but that’s such a hard work for many people!
I totally agree about yoga and meditation. Staying grounded helps for sure!
I love that and many people who know me and some really horrible things that I have endured say they wouldn’t be able to go through what I have. My response is that horrible things have happened, but I have also had wonderful things in my life. I do not compare my wonderful or horrible events with others. I just endure knowing the bad never stays and enjoy to the fullest the great things as well.
Love you Vicki. You are an inspiration!
I’ve always felt the same way. My heart is too open and trusting, hoping for the best in people. This why I’m easily hurt, but this is also why I find it easy to write. Thoughts are always rumbling around in my head. Words bubbling out of me without stop. We are writers. And there are no better people in the world.
I totally agree!!
Lovely post, Blakely. A friend of mine, who’s a passionate yogi and “emotionalist” always says. When sorrow knocks on your door, open it up, let him in, ask him to stay for a while. He’s your greatest teacher.
I like that. I have a friend who does “heart work” and it’s all about welcoming all our emotions in and being curious. Thanks for reading and commenting!
I totally agree. I’ve always lived with an open heart and suffered big wounds and disappointment. Still, I’m gaining more by keep going than I would from closing myself off.
Lovely post!
There is definitely a cost but I think it’s well worth it. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Well said, Blakely! I call it being an Empath (and funnily enough, that is my next topic for the #AtoZChallenge). I grew up learning to be closed off and unemotional, never daring to shed a tear in front of other people. Then as I got older, I realised that it is actually far better to show our emotions and get them all out. If we bottle them up, they will inevitably explode spectacularly at the most inopportune time. And yes, they make great fodder for our stories 🙂 http://spookymrsgreen.com/
Yes! I’ve had friends in the past who didn’t know how to deal with their emotions and then would explode about things that upset them months later. I prefer straightforward and real, every time!
It’s all about balance.
Tolerance and acceptance can only be accessed through the heart. It’s what distinguishes us as humans.
I totally agree with you, Murielle!
Love this article! My daughter went away to college this year too and like you I miss her often. I can’t imagine what it must have been like before cell phones, when parents called their children on a certain day and time. The good news is that I can call or FaceTime her anytime and that eases the pain in the open heart! This was so insightful, and true, when you try to hard to shut off certain emotions you dull others. Thanks for sharing with an open heart!
Yes, technology makes it so much easier. You are most welcome!
I think when we close ourselves off from “negative” emotions we also close ourselves off to others. There are so many people hurting in this world, but if we refuse to embrace our own hurts then we cannot empathize with others who are hurting.
Well stated.
Open hearts are easily broken.