Polishing the pearl is the phrase my husband and I use for massaging the clit. It can be of the masturbatory variety or partnering. “Honey, would you like me to polish your pearl in the morning?” or “Did you polish your pearl while I was at work?” YES and I sure did! A tongue can also polish the pearl and that is what brings me to this particular blog.
A young male friend of mine asked me for advice about good techniques for going down on a woman. What follows is what I said to him:
The most important way to make sure you give pleasurable cunnilingus is via open communication. I said that I could tell him what I personally like but that it wouldn’t translate to all women.
I personally like slow and soft with a broad tongue stroke. The more foreplay prior to touching the clit, the quicker I’ll cum. In contrast, I know many women who like it hard and fast with a pointy tongue. “Your job, my young friend, is to find out what she likes best.”
I told him to explore her pleasure points and to spend plenty of time kissing. You want her clit swollen and her slit wet before you go downtown.
I also shared that some women enjoy being fingered vaginally and/or anally during the pearl polishing and that he should be open to experimenting.
My last bit of advice went like this: Being connected with your lover will help you read their cues and the more open you can be, the better sex will be all around.
For a lot of us it’s difficult to direct our lovers: softer, harder, to the left, slower, faster, and just like that. It really shouldn’t be so hard, but it’s a sensitive area to tread.
Because it involves technique as well as hygiene, kissing for me has been the hardest to speak up about. Thankfully my husband is the best kisser I have ever known. 😉
So please help out my friend and share your words of wisdom about polishing the pearl.
Warm hugs,
Blakely
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I completely agree communication is key with anything like this. I have been with my husband for 7years and he has always been vocal in what he likes/ dislikes and even though I had had a few different partners of both sexes prior to my husband I wasn’t comfortable telling him what I wanted. It has literally taken me till this year to finally experiment and communicate with my husband about polishing the pearl. (Love the phrase) My biggest regret is that I didn’t do it earlier. It turns out he is rather good at it! My preference is for him to really wind me up before he touches down there and he enjoys the winding me up part too then I like a slow tease before a good hard and fast climatic end. My husband isn’t comfortable with oral sex which is a shame but his fingers are doing just fine.
Thank you so much for sharing, Emma. I loved what you had to say.
Warm hugs,
Blakely
These are the reasons why I love Blakley! Articles like this!
Thank you Kendra!
Warmest hugs,
Blakely