Tag Archives: Adult

Mourning the end of the My Body Trilogy

Posted on by
6

Sad-Love-Quotes-Desktop-WallpaperToday is the official release day of My Body-Mine, the last book of the My Body-Trilogy. I have completed novels and projects before, but this is the first time I have experienced a kind of sadness at the end. I’m pretty sure that the feeling stems from saying goodbye to Jane, my protagonist but maybe a little bit for Marcello as well.

I didn’t quite understand the phenomenon until I heard an interview with Daniel Day-Lewis. He spoke of his portrayal of Abraham Lincoln and how he missed seeing the world through his eyes.

I have been viewing the world through Jane’s eyes for a good bit of time now, three novels worth, and I will miss her, am missing her.

Some readers struggled with the fact that Jane stayed so long with Luke and yelled in their heads that she should get out, should run in the opposite direction, but Jane, like many women, chose to stay in a sometimes abusive relationship with the hopes that she would eventually get the love she truly needed. I love the story she set before me of struggle, self-reflection, perseverance and ultimate empowerment. Many of my readers have identified with her story and will be cheering her on in the end.

Some of my fans are hoping I write more of her journey in the future, however, Jane and I have parted company because I feel her story is complete, hence the mourning. On the bright side, if the trilogy does really well, I do have plans to write a prequel about Luke and Janice’s relationship prior to Jane. I personally would love to be in Luke’s mind and get to know more about him and his motivations.

I know as a reader, I have encountered this emotion before … of not wanting a book or a series to end. It’s rather more personal and intense on the writing side of things for me. There have been books, though, that I love so much, I had to read them again and still wish they wouldn’t come to an end. The Time Traveler’s Wife, Siddhartha and Replay come to mind.

Colin Firth put it so brilliantly: “When I’m really in to a novel, I’m seeing the world differently during that time – not just for the hour or so in the day when I get to read, I’m actually walking around in a bit of a haze, spellbound by the book and looking at everything through a different prism.”

Have you, as a writer or reader had the experience of mourning the end? Please share with us.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
And like the My Body Trilogy Facebook page.
Find me Twitter & Pinterest.

Email Me

Push Through or Walk Away?

Posted on by
7

walking a clear pathI consider myself to be self-reflective. I try to look past what I’m doing to why I’m doing it or why I’m reacting. I also like to explore what motivates a particular response or even how I can behave differently.

The hardest part for me is when I continuously hit up against the same stimulus with the same response even though I am working hard to move past it.  It’s the most frustrating when I feel like I have grown only to find my emotions stirred up again in the same way as before.

In the past, I have held this belief that I can move past any issue if I’m willing to dig to the core of me. Because of this I sometimes take on more of the responsibility when an issue comes up than may be warranted (according to my husband).

Now I realized that sometimes the best thing, the healthiest thing, is to move away from the stimulus. I don’t mean from a ‘hiding’ standpoint but from acknowledging that the situation isn’t healthy and it’s time to move on. I had previously held the position that moving through the issue was always the best way to go but now I’m not so sure that’s always the right course of action. Reactions aren’t always just the mirror of our past but maybe a way of protecting us in the present.

Anytime I have a reaction that I don’t like, I tend to assume that I need to do something to change the circumstance or myself. Maybe all I need to do is remove myself from the situation. Unfortunately, it’s not always so black and white and easily discernible.

If you’ve read my novels, then you can probably see where Jane gets her introspection. I played with this concept of trying to evolve past the current situation. Sometimes we must, even in the case of family and friends, extract ourselves from the situations that don’t support us and our wellbeing. You will see Jane evolve in this manner throughout the arc of the trilogy.

The best example I can think of to illustrate the challenge happened when I worked in “corporate America.” I had a job and a half to get done in the traditional 40 hour week and as much as I tried and struggled, I couldn’t handle the stress of all the work not getting done that kept getting heaped on my plate. I had to rush from one thing to another never fully feeling satisfied with the outcome. Being away from the situation, I can now easily see that the job was an awful fit for me and the struggles I put myself through were simply me trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Back then though, I truly thought I should be able to change something within myself to make it work.

Fortunately, I now get to chase the dream of a published author (thanks to my wonderful husband) and that is far more satisfying. There are still times I run up against myself and other people’s personalities but at least I’m working for myself now and setting my own schedule.

Life continues to astound and amaze me and I am fascinated to continually learn more about the facets of myself and others.

How do you handle something you would like to change about yourself? Do you spend the time trying to figure out what motivates you?

Thanks for reading and please share your comments.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page.
Find me Twitter & Pinterest.

Email Me

Unsolicited Advice

Posted on by
16

An indie writer and I became friendly online and I anxiously awaited the release of her first book. I planned to review it for her but once I started it I knew I could not. I barely made it halfway through the first read. I desperately wanted to be supportive of her writing but found the manuscript poorly edited and the characters underdeveloped. She knew I was reading her work and I didn’t quite know how to best handle the situation. In hindsight, I probably should have kept my opinion to myself, but instead told her what I thought she could do to improve her story. She has never spoken to me since.

It’s plenty easy to find people who will tell you how good you are but not so easy to find someone to tell you the truth. Since writing is our product and most of us aspire to make a living at it, an honest opinion is the only way a storyteller can improve. Let me be clear that I’m not talking about the story itself but the proficiency of writing the tale.

You might have concluded that I have learned my lesson from the above experience but in an effort to truly support fellow writers, most especially indie writers, I’m going to go out on a limb and do it once again. What I am about to say is not from on-high as a writer but as an avid reader of fiction. When I read, I get lost in another world and will consume the story as if living on the written word and not come up for air until finished. That is if the book is well written and captivating.

I recently started to read two books that I downloaded from Amazon.  Although I am traditionally published, I support all authors equally and hoped to offer some positive reviews of the books as requested. Both seemed edited okay but each broke the cardinal rule of good story telling: SHOW DON’T TELL. I gave the authors 20 pages to draw me in and it did not happen.  In neither book did I meet the antagonist or find out the conflict of the story. You can chalk it up to preference and maybe that’s all that it comes down to but there are certain fundamentals that I think all writers should aspire to.

As a reader, I want to be drawn into the novel immediately. Please don’t pack the beginning of your book with backstory. You can intersperse the pertinent information as you’re getting on with the real story. Help me understand, in the first few pages, who the protagonist is and what makes him or her different and why I should care about them and what they’re experiencing in relationship to the antagonist.

Have your book professionally edited. Traditional publishing usually includes professional editing and indie authors, in my opinion, should aspire to the same standards. If at some point in my career, I decide to independently publish or my husband does, I promise you, we will get our work edited.

Not everyone will like any one story, even the ones that sell millions of copies so it’s easy to blow off my advice which is your right and prerogative, but don’t.  I know people don’t want to be stuck in the editing process forever but writing a great work of fiction does take many steps and I think we fail our audience when we rush it.

Will I offer unsolicited advice on a personal basis again?  Probably not.  I know in my heart my intent was good and pure but I lost a budding friendship in the process.

I’m still hunting for that newly published novel that blows me away so I can post a review of the story right here on my blog.

Come back next week to read my lighter blog on blowjobs. 😉

Please share your comments.

Warm hugs,

Blakely Bennett

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) on Amazon here.

The Importance of Passion

Posted on by
3

What gets your pulse thudding and your blood pumping? What churns you to feel the drive of your desires? You might think I’m merely asking about sex and attraction however, I have been thinking a lot about passion lately on a few different levels. Like how it pertains to my writing because if there is one common denominator in erotica, it’s most probably the passion but also as it pertains to what truly motivates us in life and how it factors in our relationships.

I firmly believe when we are truly passionate about person, job, or anything else, we become highly motivated in acquiring or achieving. Not so long ago, when I worked in a corporate job, I thought most of the men I worked with and for were work-a-holics. However, I now understand that they were driven to succeed in an occupation where their passions lie. I can say this because I’m living my passion as a published author, highly driven toward success and my daughter now refers to me as the work-a-holic. I quickly shake it off, mostly because she really has no concept of hard work and how much time it can take. I probably work eight to ten hours a day between writing, editing, and social media and put time in on the weekends as well. I also take time off when I’m feeling burnt out so I don’t exhaust myself or my drive and I get to set my own hours so I can.

The importance of passion is very clear to me now. I believe we all need it to truly feel alive in our lives. It surely doesn’t have to be found in an occupation. It can be a hobby, family, exercise, or many other activities. I often wish I was as passionate about exercise as the marathon runners or long distance bikers. My passion for exercise and a firm body runs in a cycle from extremely focus and driven to drop a few pounds and build muscle to being a slug. Fortunately for me the slugdom phase is far shorter. Since moving out to the Northwest, I blame it on the winter and the lack of sun. Fortunately Spring is moving in as will be my resolve to drop five pounds of fat while adding at least as much in muscle mass. 🙂

As it pertains to writing, which I’m sure by now if you have read my novels or follow my site you understand how passionate I am regarding the written word. I strive to fully communicate the range of desire, attraction, flirtation, sex and longing. I recently watch a Bollywood movie that told the story of two sisters who fell in love and eventually married the men of their desire. The film depicted no sex or kissing and the only physical touch happened through hugging but they clearly showed longing, chemistry, and passion merely through facial expressions and eye contact. It made me consider how I communicate passion via the written word and how sometimes covert longing is more powerful than overt desire.

In relationship passion has amazing binding power and helps longevity. It’s definitely works that way for my husband and me (18 years and going strong). I do wonder why passion and desire seems to fade in many relationships and when I craft stories about relationships, I can’t help analyzing why one relationship can last for the long-term while others do not. This may sound silly to some, but I believe because my husband and I, even after all this time, never run out of things to talk about, we still enjoy spending time together. I’m sure having great chemistry is a huge help as well. 😉

I’ve known for a long time that writing is my passion and now I get to live it in a new exciting way. Thanks to all my friends, family, and fans that support me in making my passions my life.

What are you passionate about? How does it motivate you? Please share with me and my readers. Thanks!

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) on Amazon here.

The Nu Project and the Female Body

Posted on by
1

My husband turned me onto The Nu Project website where women from all over North and South American have submitted their nude photos in support of the endeavor to show what real women look like.  That’s not to say models are not real women, however they are so far in the minority that to base our societies standards on their physiques is to set up a culture where the majority of women feel dissatisfied with their bodies.  This project celebrates all types of women’s shapes and curves. I, for one, think it’s fabulous.

As someone who has often compared herself to women twenty years younger than I, I love to see all shapes and size represented.  In the My Body Trilogy, my characters are fit and lean mostly because that’s what I find appealing although I plan to write other novels with all types of characters represented.  Lauren Dane, in one of her Chase Brothers series novels, has a full-figured main female character which I very much enjoyed.

I’m considered an average size woman now but in my early adulthood I was definitely full-figured and struggled with my own self-image.  As a practicing nudist, one of the most liberating aspects is to see all shapes and sizes of men and women and their comfort level with their own bodies.  Each and every body is unique and loving my own body, makes me even more inclined to take great care of it.

My husband and I just watched Monique Marvez: Not Skinny Not Blonde comedy show on Showtime.  I highly recommend that you check it out.  We laughed our asses off but it also enlightened me to a very important fact of life.  Something I probably unconsciously knew but never spent much time thinking about.  She said that how women see themselves, us being our own worst critics, is very different than how men see us, most especially the men who love us.  I believe this to be true so from now on I plan to see myself through my husband’s eyes instead of my own because he has such a positive attitude toward how I look.  🙂

I’m excited to share The Nu Project with you and help promote any endeavor that shines a positive light on a culture based on reality instead of an ideal.  Hopefully the project will expand to include men as well.

Check it out and let me know what you think.  As always, I love to read your comments.

I hope everyone had a wonderful week.  The blog tour is going well and the official release of My Body-His (Marcello) happened on Friday which is very exciting.  Looking forward to reading your reviews.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) on Amazon here.

Sexual Brain Differences between Men and Women

Posted on by
5

A while back, I read a fascinating article called Love, Sex, and the Male Brain by Louann Brizendine.  According to Louann our brains are mostly alike but there are variances when it comes to sex, relating, and territorial behaviors. Men have a larger area of the brain dedicated to defending their turf. I wonder if this makes men more prone to jealousy than women. I have also pondered whether or not jealousy is a modern cultural phenomenon.  If we are programmed genetically to guard that which is ours, then is it an instinctual process?

In contrast, Louann tells us that women have a larger area of the brain dedicated to understanding and getting in sync with other people’s emotions, facial expressions, and body language.

The biggest dichotomy she found was that the male brain has a two and a half times larger area of for sexual pursuit than women.  This is not at all surprising to me.

She discusses the differing levels of male hormones during diverse ages and says that testosterone puts boys/men in a ‘Man Trance’. According to the author, men cannot help themselves because they are programmed to always be on the hunt for fertile females. Checking out women’s breasts comes second nature to men and they fail to understand why their looking should upset the women they are with. I have to agree with this point. Even if you are monogamous, I don’t think wearing blinders like a horse is necessary. I’m not saying that men should have carte blanche to behave in any manner but a little self-esteem goes a really long way in my opinion.

If you’ve read my first novel, My Body-His, then you know I’m fascinated by what motivates people to behave the way they do.  In the second book, My Body-His (Marcello) you will have the opportunity to be ensconced in a power struggle between Luke and Marcello over Jane.  They don’t go as far as banging their chests but they are both lobbying to have sole control over the object of their desire.

Men do fall in “love” as hard as women, according to Luanne, and when a woman gets pregnant, her pheromones affect her man’s testosterone by reducing his output by 30%.  This is just nature’s insurance that the man will stick around through the pregnancy.

Louann goes on to say that there is a misconception that women are more emotional than men. According to her, men have stronger emotional reactions than women do. Men, however, are much better at covering it up and far quicker at doing so. I have to speculate that this particular behavior is culturally driven because men are told they must appear strong and in control.

Here’s the article if you would like to read it for yourself: http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/23/brizendine.male.brain/index.html?hpt=C1

What are some of the differences you have found between you and partners? Love to read your thoughts.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

Kissing

Posted on by
1

Kissing is one of the wonderful joys in life. I love the taste, smell, and feel of a kiss. I have often pondered if kissing is a teachable behavior or if it’s like two puzzle pieces that either fit together or don’t.  I have been known to say that lip-locking is the gateway drug and the sure fire indicator of sexual compatibility.

Personally, kissing is important to me.  My husband and I have been kissing for a long wonderful time and it’s a dance that still leaves me lightheaded and very much turned on. I love the journey from soft to hard and back again. I love the ones that linger and take me to places I’ve never been.

I, for one, think kissing should happen often and not only as a start of sexual activity.  Like hugging and cuddling, it shoots us full of lovely bonding chemicals and keeps couples close and more connected.

Professionally kissing is something that I strive to describe thoroughly and accurately without the constant redundancy.  It’s not always an easy task.

So that brings me back to wondering if kissing is something that can be cultivated or is it simply preference? Is kissing something that can evolve with enough practice?

Two kissers from my past stand out to me because of their not so great technique.  One guy used his tongue like a spear, making it very pointy and swirled his tongue around and around in my mouth.  We dated very briefly.  LOL! Second guy thought his tongue a sword and like to duel without lip-locking.  Both styles fell into the realm of turn offs.  Could I have coached them to kiss more to my preference if I had been bold enough to say what I liked and didn’t care for?  I’m not sure.

A friend once shared that we all kiss a bit differently and it’s a journey to find a mutual place in the kisses. I like this philosophy.

My husband feels that a lot of it is innate, a talent, an ability to share a kiss with a woman that encourages her to weaken at the knees and to gather herself when pausing for a breath.

Do you think kissing is a talent or something that can be learned and cultivated?  Love to hear from you, my readers.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

BDSM Bedtime Stories – Audio excerpt from My Body-His (Marcello)

Posted on by
Reply

I’m happy to share an audio excerpt from the second novel of the My Body Trilogy, My Body-His (Marcello).  It’s a hot and sexy f/f scene for your audio pleasure.  A huge thanks to BookAddict ~ La Crimson Femme for making the recording.

Adult content: Must be 18 or older.

Please comment and let me know what you think and like on youtube.

Thanks and warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

The Effects of Pornography on Our Sex Culture

Posted on by
3

I want to be clear that for the most part, I don’t have issues with pornography or the 13 billion dollar a year industry. I personally prefer to read sexy stories rather than watch overt copulation, so porn is really not an avenue for my sexual arousal, although in all honesty I have watched videos in the past and more recently, a few for research sake. Most videos do not feel authentic and therefore are a turn off to me (fake moaning is the worst!). Because only 30% of women can reach orgasm from sexual intercourse alone, the industry misrepresents the other 70% of women and yet for the industry that seems to be the main portrayal of sexual fulfillment in pornography.  Okay so maybe I do have some issues with it. 😉

I just watched a video in which a clip of a Jeff Probst Show featured Cindy Gallop. She is adamant that we all need to be reeducated, especially those who are younger and who avidly watch porn. 99.9% of porn, according to Cindy, is produced by men for men and gives a skewed view of sexual intimacy where the ultimate goal is male satisfaction, which is not beneficial to women. On her website, www.makelovenotporn.com she addresses the more realistic needs of women and what fulfilling sex really looks like.

Cindy states that because there is no counter point in our society to talk openly about sex, people believe the artificial entertainment of porn is the real deal.

I have a few male friends who have mentioned that they think their porn watching might leave them less inclined to have sex with their partners. If porn is interfering with real contact and connection then it has become a problem in my opinion.

Some people have referred to My Body-His as being pornography and I’m not sure it qualifies. When I looked up the definitions of erotica and porn, they have the same one. I would argue though that the definition, “Creative activity (writing or pictures or films etc.) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire,” does not fit. My novels do more than stimulate sexual desire so maybe we need a whole new term for it. That’s my opinion anyway and I’m sticking to it. 🙂

Personally, I believe there are many expression of sexuality and I’m not here to judge other people’s choices. It would be nice, however, if men could represent a more real world perspective of sex and women would step to the plate and create something that would resonate more with women and reality.

I would love to hear your views on this topic.  Please share with us.

Warm hugs,

Blakely