Not long ago, my husband and I had a discussion about how I perceive myself and my body in contrast to how he perceives me. During that discussion, I truly wished that I could see myself through his eyes. Even for an hour, if I could see myself the way he sees me, I believe it would change my world forever.

Recently on my Facebook wall, I had the opportunity to read a poem that spoke to that very phenomenon so perfectly for me. Please follow this link to read the poem called Within by Michael Peter Smith aka Mikeywine:  http://mikeywine.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/within/

In addition, my wonderful step-daughter V, posted this incredible video where an artist sketches women based on their verbal description of themselves from behind a curtain and then based on another person’s take of them, someone whom they met just briefly. Call me sappy but the short video made me cry and I hope you’ll check it out as well: http://www.wimp.com/forensicartist/

Let me ask you why, as women, are we our harshest self-critics? I’m sure some men are as well but my general experience with the male gender is that they don’t waste much time wishing they would show up differently or that their bodies looked better. Why don’t we find satisfaction with our own uniqueness?

For myself, my weight fluctuated in my younger days and that had an impact on how I felt about myself on any given day. Fortunately the up and down of 50 lbs. has been reduced down to a 10-15 lbs. yo-yo depending on the season and my internal motivation. I don’t find it odd that we care about how we look since our appearance is what we present to the world, however, I must say, I’m looking forward to the day that my weight matters far less in my own self-evaluation.

In the My Body Trilogy, Jane’s view of herself changes and evolves through her character arc. Her mother often referred to her as Plain Jane in her childhood and that was the image she carried of herself until she met Luke and then Marcello.

As authors, being critiqued is unavoidable, and now anyone with Wifi can fancy themselves an anonymous expert. It’s imperative for our peace of mind that we maintain positive regard for ourselves and our work in the face negative criticism.

I know for me, early rejection as a child definitely affected how I viewed myself but as an adult I’d like to think I have something to say about how I perceive me, my life, and my writing.

At any rate, I plan to adopt my husband’s view, he who adores me and thinks I’m the coolest woman he knows. 🙂  Thanks love.

Are you a harsh self-critic?  Has your opinion of yourself evolved over time?  How do you handle negative reviews of your writing?

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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