Blakely’s Friday Interview with Johnny Lavish

Please give a warm welcome to Johnny Lavish, author of Please Share My Wife with Me? The Wife Swapping Diary of George and Melissa.

Facebook 2Tell us a bit about yourself and what you’re currently working on or promoting.
I am an author from the Northeast of England who has been married for 21 years and I promoting my book, Please Share My Wife with Me? The Wife Swapping Diary of George and Melissa. The book is about a middle-aged fictional couple that is faced with a decision and the impact of that decision on their relationship.
What genre is your book?  Do you write in other genres as well?
Genre is erotic romance. Currently, I am working on a long-term project that is based on a life event and I would classify it as non-fiction.
Do you have an agent and/or publisher or are you self-published?  If self-published, do you use a professional editor?  If traditionally published, who is your publisher?
I am self-published and I do not use a professional editor.
What advice do you have for writer’s just starting out?
Everyone who writes wants to be the next Dreiser, Williams, or Steinbeck. For the vast majority who write, being an author might provide a bit of extra income but it will not be enough to be a full-time job The reality is writing today is as much as marketing, promotion and building a following as it is about writing. This means you need to believe in your work and love writing in order for it to be enjoyable. It also means self-publishing authors start at a disadvantage and need to build a following. Even if you write a masterpiece without a following then no one will read it. My advice is before you release your book take the time to build a following and begin promoting yourself. Otherwise you may be disappointed when you publish your book.
What are your three favorite books including the authors?
a. Sister Carrie – Theodore Dreiser
b. Noah’s Ark The Secret Underground – Marie Madeleine Fourcade
c. Night – Elie Weisel
Who is your favorite author and why?
My favorite author is Dreiser. The reason why I like Dreiser I find his writing to be realistic and his characters to be life-like. He has the ability to draw the reader into the story and then bring it to life.
Is there a message in your book(s) that you want readers to grasp?
Even though my book is what I term erotic romance, it is more than an erotic tale, it is about choices, making choices, and the impact those choices have. For example Melissa does a few things that would upset most husbands and probably end a marriage. This puts George in a situation where he is faced with the choice does he end the marriage or not. Likewise Melissa is confronted with choices too. For her, a choice she faces is deciding between her husband and a lover of hers. Ultimately those choices influence the relationship and the direction it goes. I believe, the second part that I am writing now takes this idea of choices even further and shows some of the long-term impact of them.
Do you see yourself in any of your characters?
I see a bit of myself in George.
Was one of your characters more challenging to write than another?
Melissa continues to be a challenging character to write. She tends to be a bit impulsive, focused on the moment, and tries to hide her feelings. As a character she is probably the least like me and I feel makes her a challenging character for me since she is one of the main characters.
Is there a character that you enjoyed writing more than any of the others?
I enjoy writing George since he is probably closest character that is like me.
Do you base your characters on people you know?
No, I do not base my characters on people I know. Instead I base my characters on personal characteristics that I observe and use those characteristics to build a character.
What do you do when you’re not writing?
I have a full time job. If I am not working or writing, I am enjoying photography, travelling, or doing some more reading.
Has reading a book ever changed your life? Which one and why, if yes?
There has been a few that have changed my life.
While Six Million Died – Arthur D. Morse
This book changed me because it showed there were at least two realities. One reality was what the politicians where telling the press and the second reality, what was happening that was not being reported. The second reality showed me that you cannot accept everything at “face-value,” and you need to question everything. It is too easy to accept something without questioning it and after reading this book, I became more skeptical about what I read.

Please be sure to friend Johnny Lavish on Facebook, Twitter and Google+!

Click below to buy Please Share My Wife with Me.

Social Media Etiquette

Hand holding a Social Media 3d SphereI would like to start by thanking all the wonderful authors and readers I have had a chance to meet online. I have never met a better, more supportive group of friends. Thanks for reposting my links, friending me, offering me advice, and generally being a really positive force in the process of being an author. Another thanks goes out to those on Twitter that take the time to tweet for me, rather than just retweeting. I’m starting to learn more about how to do that for you and plan to do more of it when I have the time.

My online friends have offered me incredible advice like “advertise less on FB and share more about yourself” to “keeping something you want retweeted at the top of your Twitter page.” Their support has inspired me to write this blog to offer my own advice.

First off and a pet peeve of mine, do not post your promotions on someone else’s Facebook wall. That’s what your wall is for. If you would like to post something on their wall other than, “thanks for the friendship,” then ask first. I find it incredibly rude and presumptuous when people do that and I quickly delete their posts.

Do not tag people into a picture that they are not in just so they will see your post or put out a mass direct message. These are gross misuses of what FB features are meant for and just ends up pissing off your friends. I was tagged in a post with several pictures of pot roast, (which looked incredibly unappetizing to me) and I don’t eat mammal. I can’t imagine what she hoped to accomplish by tagging me and about 100 other people. Many expressed their displeasure in comments.

Please consider not using your FB wall to express your dissatisfaction with life, family, friends, other authors or the publishing industry. This especially goes to other authors who are trying to create a following and a forum. I sometimes consider unfriending those who seem to be so negative all the time. I know everyone has bad days and I do as well. Just consider what you are putting out there and if you are inspiring people to want to read what you have to say.

On twitter, it’s great to be thanked for retweeting but even better for you to return the favor. Retweeting says thank you to me. Also, consider leaving what you’d like retweeted at the top of your page, as I mentioned above, so we don’t have to scan down several pages to find something to retweet for you. A huge thanks to all of you who do so. It really reduces the time I spend on social media.

Here are some other biggies: DO NOT spend money purchasing reviews, DO NOT beg people to buy your books and DO NOT assume because I write erotica, I want to talk about sex with you (FB is not a dating site). I have recently seen some advertisements for reviews for $9.95 and it made me cringe. Ask your close friends and family (only those who have actually read your books) if they will post a review for you but other than that, be honest and don’t buy false reviews. I have gotten DMs saying, “please, you must buy my books so I sell at least 100…”

Lastly and you might have seen this conversation on my FB page, it’s very bad etiquette (Thx FB friends for chiming in) to ask your readers and fans to post reviews for you. I think we should all let our stories rise or fall on their merit. Publicize and promote as much as you can, but do so honestly.

Well that’s all my suggestions. Do you have any social media etiquette to add? Please share your thoughts with us.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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Blakely’s Friday Interview with Tyler Roberts

Please give a warm welcome to Tyler Roberts, author of Truth’s Blood.

downloadTell us a bit about yourself and what you’re currently working on or promoting.
I grew up in the farm country of eastern Washington. I’m semi-retired with two grown sons, a wife of 33 years and Burly, our very large English Mastiff. We manage a small orchard, keep chickens, grow grapes, berries a very large organic garden. My passion though is beekeeping.

What genre is your book? Do you write in other genres as well?
It fits the dystopian genre best, though action adventure would be a close second. Truth’s Blood is my first book, so I have not written in other genres but my oldest son would like me to write a memoir. I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. I think I would have to skip writing about a few years in there.

Who or what inspires you?
The time we are living in inspires me. I love history and I’m fascinated by the fact we as a nation are repeating it. Even more fascinating is how humans seem incapable of learning from history.

Do you have an agent and/or publisher or are you self-published? If self-published, do you use a professional editor? If traditionally published, who is your publisher?
I’m self-published and I did pay for an editor. I chuckle a bit when I say this but editing is the one great drawback to writing.

What advice do you have for writer’s just starting out?
Just write. It’s a skill that must be honed and developed like any other skill, so just write, regardless of how good or bad you think it might be. Your internal critic can review it later.

What project are you currently working on?
The sequel to Truths Blood.

What has been your best moment as a writer?
I think the best moment was the realization I could actually do this, write a story, publish it and actually receive good reviews. I’m still amazed by it.

What challenges have you faced in your writing career?
I never believed in myself. My senior year in high school I humored a sweet old English teacher who asked me to take a test and write short story. A few weeks later she returned with two scholarship offers. I was seventeen and couldn’t take it seriously. Simply could not imagine myself as a writer, but the seed had been planted. That seed lay dormant for years until I retired and began to write a story just for myself simply because I enjoyed writing. Never told anyone about it. Finally one Christmas when my oldest son was home the matter came up and he really twisted my arm about polishing it up to publish. A year later the book was published.

Is there a message in your book(s) that you want readers to grasp?
Definitely. My approach to the book was to take the lessons of history and apply them to current times in the United States to write a fictional story. Everything in the book is backed with history from across the ages – Rome, Germany, Argentina, Britain, Russia, etc.

Do you see yourself in any of your characters?
Oh ya. Cliffson would be me.

Is there a character that you enjoyed writing more than any of the others?
Yes, it would be Monk. He’s an amalgamation of a number of people I have known and having all those folks to draw upon made it a real joy to develop the character.

What do you do to stay sane as a writer?
Are writers sane? We certainly are a different breed.

Do you read your reviews and if so, how do you cope with a bad one?
I read them with the attitude I can learn from them. As for the bad ones, well as any author knows, you are not going to please everyone.

I have found the writer’s community to be very supportive and welcoming.  Please share writers that you recommend:

Marsha Roberts and Michael Murphy

Please be sure to check out Tyler Roberts Blog  and click below to buy Truth’s Blood.

An Ode to My Husband

the-kiss-1904Okay, it’s not really a lyrical poem but I love the title. I feel so lucky to have my husband and want to let him know. He is working hard for us so I can write my novels, blogs, edit, and do social media without having to work at the same time. Our dream is to make enough money from our books so we both get to stay home and write to our hearts content.

I miss him when he is gone all day and the weekend is barely enough time to get my fill of him. The other day I said to him, “Every day I feel so exceedingly lucky that you are my best friend and partner in life,” and he said, “I feel exactly the same way about you.” How sweet is that?

We have been together eighteen years now and it just keeps getting better. It certainly hasn’t always been perfect and we’ve had to go through some growing pains together. Any long-term relationship must evolve or it dies, in my not so humble opinion. Fortunately for us, we seem to grow closer and closer together as time passes.

Why do I think my husband is so wonderful besides making it possible for me to be a full-time writer? Well in all honesty he is the best kisser and lover I have ever had. He still finds me sexy and attractive after all this time. He has loved me thinner than I am now and also heavier. There is no other person in the world I’d rather spend my time with and he showers me daily with affection. We kiss and hug goodbye in the morning and snuggle on the couch in the evening. He spoons me to sleep at night and we often share our dreams in the morning with my head on his chest.

Our daughter says we are like teenagers together, still very much in love. Not that long ago, she told us that a friend of ours and mother to her friend asked if we are really as happy as we seem. The mother assumed we acted one way around other people and another behind closed doors. My daughter said, “Nope, they’re always like that. They fight on the rare occasion but what you see is what you get.”

Some people have assumed that I have been through the experiences that I’ve written about in the My Body Trilogy. Sorry to let you down but it’s entirely fiction. Although I didn’t meet my husband until I was twenty-eight years old, I never had a Luke or Marcello in my life. I just have an overgrown, overactive, twisted imagination. 😉 Fortunately my husband loves how my mind works. He is the one who pushed me to try to get published again and is my greatest and most supportive fan.

Love is an important factor in relationship but don’t underestimate “like”. I not only love my husband dearly but I like him so much. He is the coolest person I know other than the kids.

Thank you, love, for being there for me and making our lives so yummy and juicy. I’m the luckiest woman I know.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
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Blakely’s Friday Interview with Lynne Stringer

Lynne1-editedPlease give a warm welcome to Lynne Stringer, author of The Heir.

Tell us a bit about yourself and what you’re currently working on or promoting.
My name is Lynne Stringer and I live in Australia with my family. I’ve been interested in writing for most of my life. My father’s a writer, although he favours non-fiction books and I gravitate more towards fiction. I have worked as a journalist for a small magazine, which I also edited for seven years. However, I have always loved making up stories, so it was only a matter of time before I turned my attention to novels. My first novel, The Heir, is out on 1st June. It’s the first book in the Verindon trilogy.
What genre is your book? Do you write in other genres as well?
The Heir is a young adult, science fiction romance. I would be open to writing in just about any genre if I had the inspiration for a story, but I do like both sci-fi and romance. I think anything I wrote would have to have a love story in it somewhere.
Do you have an agent and/or publisher or are you self-published? If self-published, do you use a professional editor? If traditionally published, who is your publisher?
I don’t have an agent, although I did try to get one. Getting an agent is definitely harder than getting published! My publisher, Wombat Books, is a traditional publisher, which I’m happy with, especially since it meant that my book received much needed attention before it was published. It went through six different editors before we were happy with the end result. I would recommend editing for every author. There are always things you miss when looking at your own work, and if you’re self-publishing you’re not going to have a publisher to do if for you. Having your book professionally edited is a must. I’ve seen too many books with an appalling number of mistakes in them simply because they haven’t had a proper edit.
Do you outline your stories or just go with the flow?
I tend to go with the flow. I find that my stories sometimes alter once the characters start speaking, so it seems pointless to map something out when I might have to change it anyway.
What project are you currently working on?
I’m currently working on the sequel to The Heir. The Crown should be released either at the end of this year or the beginning of the next.
Is being an author your dream job? If so, how long have you been chasing the dream? If not, what would be your dream job?
Yes, it is my dream job. My hope is that I will make enough money to live off it (unlikely, I know!). I can’t think of anything better than being paid to make up stories. I’ve always done it for fun, it would be wonderful to earn a living that way.
How much time a day do you spend on social media?
A lot. I live in Australia, but part of my book is set in America, so I have been trying to reach out to that audience through social media. I am active on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads and Pinterest.
Is there a message in your book(s) that you want readers to grasp?
I’m trying to drive home the message that we should not judge people by standards like success and wealth. In the story, Sarah, my protagonist, is ostracised at the school she attends because she’s not wealthy or from a successful family. However, she is definitely a person worth knowing. Basing our view of people on such shallow standards is not a good idea, although it’s an easy trap to fall into.

Please be sure to friend Lynne Stringer on FacebookTwitter and check out her Pinterest and Goodreads!

Click below to buy The Heir.

Fuzzy Wassy was a Bear

So please tell me, am I the only person who has issues with the overuse of the word was? All the books I have read on writing say to use an action verb wherever possible and yet when I read— most novels are a was and were-athon. It really drives me mad when there is more than one was in a sentence or where the active verb is so apparent. For instance: “She was standing in a pool of water as I approached” can simply become, “As I approached, I discovered her standing in a pool of water.”

I have no issues with it in dialogue because that’s how we really speak but in description I often feel it is just plain lazy. I’m the first to admit, there are times where it’s unavoidable, especially in first-person narrative during reflection.

Could it be that the passive voice, which has been touted as being inferior, is a notion out of the past and really doesn’t apply anymore? If so, I say we change the propaganda and move right along. However, if the active voice is really better writing, then shouldn’t we, as writers, focus on writing with action verbs more often?

Stephen King does a lovely little rant about the passive voice and was-ing in his great book on writing called, On Writing, A Memoir of the Craft. He believes that the passive voice is weak storytelling. He gives a few great examples and I’ll share one with you where he referenced The Elements of Style, another must have book for any writer. Stephen writes: “And remember: The writer threw the rope, not The rope was thrown by the writer.” He begs, “Please oh please?” afterwards which I found very humorous.

So why am I even ranting about this? Very glad you asked! I personally feel that the standards of writing are important and raising our craft to the highest level we can is a goal we should all aspire to. I hope my writing gets better each time I write a new novel and that I stay open to learning new things. Being able to tell a great story is only part of the puzzle, the other half is conveying it in such a way that the reader can get lost in it.

Because I know there is always more than one side to any issue, I will share a book that broke all grammatical rules and I highly enjoyed it. My Friend Leonard is a memoir by James Frey who used none of what you normally find when reading a story and somehow it worked. Check it out so you can see what I mean.

Lastly, I want to mention adverbs and how abhorrent most writing books find them. Again, I have heard it called lazy writing, thanks Mr. King and Elmore Leonard. The latter believes that adverbs should generally be avoided and one should never use the word suddenly. I have to disagree because in their proper places, I find them to be lovely additions that emphasize a thought, convey a heightened circumstance or modify a weaker action verb. There, I’ve said it.

Please share with us your thoughts and ideas about best writing practices. I’d love to hear from you.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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Blakely’s Friday Interview with Darlene Kuncytes

92682d8e85ea0ac1d188dc.L._V372479113_SX200_Please give a warm welcome to Darlene Kuncytes, author of A Vampire’s Saving EmbraceShe is brave enough to be my very first author interview. Thanks, Dar. 🙂

Tell us a bit about yourself and what you’re currently working on or promoting.
I am promoting my first book. “A Vampire’s Saving Embrace” and working on Book 2 of the series. Although this book totally stands on its own. Book 2 is the story of two of the secondary characters you will meet in book 1. I had people beg me to write their story next – so I just had to.
What genre is your book? Do you write in other genres as well? It’s a paranormal romance – heavy on the romance! Lol! Yes, I have also done an outline for a Suspense/Romance that is not paranormal.
Who or what inspires you? Life inspires me. Daydreams, music – people.
Has a dream every inspired any of your stories? Yes! Totally! Lol! I will have a dream and wake up thinking “Whoa – what an awesome idea!”
Do you have an agent and/or publisher or are you self-published? If self-published, do you use a professional editor? If traditionally published, who is your publisher? I am self-published, but Linda Boulanger is my cover artist and helped with the editing. She is awesome!
What advice do you have for writer’s just starting out? Never give up! And read and re-read everything! lol
Do you set writing goals and if so, what are they? I don’t. I don’t ever want to feel pressured. I think that takes away from the story I’m trying to tell if I am forcing myself. It has to flow for me, and there is no controlling that.
What does your writing space look like? A mess!
Do you have any writing rituals or interesting writing quirks? Not really, I just need a cup of coffee at my side – and I do LOVE sitting outside at night writing. I love that peace and quiet.
What are your three favorite books including the authors? Wow, there are so many. Stephen King’s – The Shining and Salem’s Lot. John Saul -Suffer the Children (I did a book report on that book in the 6th grade – needless to say the class and teacher were a bit shocked! But, in my defense my teacher did tell me that my reading was so advanced that I could pick out any book I wanted to read, and do a report on. Lol) Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
What project are you currently working on? Book two in my series. “A Wolf’s Savage Embrace” I am hoping to launch that in August. I actually have a few Facebook Stalkers that are hounding me for it!! lol!! And I LOVE it!
Is being an author your dream job? If so, how long have you been chasing the dream? If not, what would be your dream job? It is totally my dream job! I have always loved writing and have dreamed of being an author since I can remember – so this has been number one on my bucket list forever!
What has been your best moment as a writer? My first review by someone that I didn’t know, and it was awesome! What a thrill! It gave me chills to hear them say that they fell in love with my characters and couldn’t wait for more.
What challenges have you faced in your writing career? Time. I work full time and there never seems to be enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. But it’s all good!
Do you see yourself in any of your characters? To a point I do – in all of them. They come from my heart and soul, so yes; there are responses and actions that are completely me. And there might be a little of my exes here and there, lol – but not much.
What do you do when you’re not writing? Read, cook, swim. I foster and rescue puppymill dogs.
How much time a day do you spend on social media? Much too much! 😉 I couldn’t even guess – but it’s a lot!
What do you do to stay sane as a writer? Who says I’m sane?? Lol!! But I take breaks, drink coffee and listen to music.
Do you read your reviews and if so, how do you cope with a bad one?
I have been lucky in the sense that I haven’t really gotten a super bad one yet, but I was in tears when I read the first one that said it was eh. But I am working on thickening my skin.
What has been the toughest criticism given to you as an author? What has been the best compliment? That a character said something WAY too much, when it was only said like 3 times. The best has been a woman that said she couldn’t BREATHE during a scene, that it was beyond amazing, and I didn’t use any of her “hate words”. And that she loved, loved, loved the book! And then said – Oh, and did I mention that I LOVED it! That just made my day!

I have found the writer’s community to be very supportive and welcoming.  Please share three writers that you recommend:

Donna Hawk, Virginia McKevitt, and M.C. Lavocat

Please be sure to become Darlene Kuncytes’s fan on Facebook, Twitter and check out her Author’s pages on Amazon and Goodreads!

Click below to buy A Vampire’s Saving Embrace

Darlene

Love Languages

Gary Chapman wrote a book called The 5 Love Languages. Although I am not an advocate of self-help books in general, I do think this one has important knowledge that can help make relationships better, especially in the case where each spouse or partner has a different love language.

The 5 Love Languages:
1. Words of Affirmation (which I think of as appreciation)
2. Receiving Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

I don’t believe we fit neatly into one category or at least I know that my husband and I don’t. So here is my list in order of importance.

5ll_icon-affirmationWords of Affirmation would have to be my #1 and my 2 & 3 are pretty equal which are Quality Time and Physical Touch, 4th is Acts of Service and lastly Receiving Gifts. My husband’s #1 is Physical Touch and his 2 & 3 are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time.

So why is any of this important to a relationship? Well I think most of the time people give the love language they want to receive instead of the love language their partner needs. For instance, if physical touch is your love language but your partner’s love language is acts of service, they will feel like they are showing you love every time they make you a cup of coffee but you are left wishing for more hugs, cuddling, and sex.

There is real value in knowing what your partner needs to feel loved. In my case my husband and I have similar needs in this regard so it makes it easier for us to get our needs met but what happens when your love languages are very different? In that case I think there is more effort involved but the knowledge can make a huge difference in the success of any relationship. When love languages differ, it can be the ultimate demise of the relationship if one or both parties don’t feel like they are getting what they need.

I’m left pondering whether a good match is when people have similar love languages. Do you think someone who craves words of affirmations can be satisfied with someone who buys gifts as their love language?

That reminds me of a boyfriend I had early on. He was amazing at buying gifts. He would buy things just because and to surprise me. I didn’t know it then, but that was clearly his love language. My love language was Words of Affirmation and the need for a deep connection. Ultimately we didn’t really match up for the long-term.

I want to add another love language to the list. For me when someone is willing to open themselves up and share their inner most thoughts, that really moves me. I would like to add a #6 and call it Deep Sharing and Vulnerability. Not sure where it would fall on my list, but it would definitely rank high.

Maybe part of the reason for affairs is about finding the right love language elsewhere, when their spouse shows love in another way. I believe we truly need our love language to be happy.

I have a friend whose love language is words of affirmation, but he himself has a hard time sharing words of appreciation with others. I find it interesting that we could need a particular love language that we ourselves don’t know how to speak.

Here is the link to more information about this topic. 5lovelanguages

I truly appreciate that my followers are loving, kind, smart, and wonderful people.  Now I fully expect to hear from all those whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation. 😉

Care to share your love language? I would enjoy hearing from you.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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How Important is Context and Punctuation?

VERY!  Moreover, this has become even clearer to me as of late, so I wanted to share with you something that recently happened.  I found the experience rather hysterical (afterwards) and you should have seen the expression on my husband’s face.

Here’s my story:

My writer friend, Leanna Harrow, wrote a very funny post about chocolate and with her permission, I’m sharing it with you:

Me: Mmmmm…I’m going to eat one of those…
Myself: You don’t need one of those…
I: Oh! Can I have one too?
Me: No you can’t! I’m going to eat one! I’m sick of listening to myself, I’m always listening to myself, doing the right thing, being nice, eating the “right” things. ENOUGH! I’m going to treat myself regardless what anyone thinks…I deserve it!
Myself: That’s a selfish and self-serving attitude…what’s with you? You’re not usually like this.
I: She’s getting her period…

Myself: Oh God! Then we should eat the whole box and shut her the hell up.

So I commented under her funny post: LMAO! Let me have one!

When I’m checking my email later, I see a comment from Leanna but there’s no context to it and my husband reads it over my shoulder. It says: Did you not hear how selfish she is Author Blakely Bennett??? She’s a real bitch…and not the Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming Honest kind! Lol

Without the context of the story and my quote, it seems like a horrible slam against me and yet in the correct context, it’s hysterical.

As for punctuation? Punctuation is as important as context to understanding the meaning. I had a brief stint in an online writers group where there was a lot of talk about editing and punctuation and how the standards, for many of the participants, didn’t matter.  Well they matter to me and here’s a good illustration of why:

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Enough said?  Maybe not. 🙂 lol! Editing is an important function in a great story. Grammar and punctuation are the framework for expressing your narrative in a clear and enjoyable manner. You never want to throw your reader out of the story because of strange context or bad grammar.  At least, I surely don’t.

Thanks to Leanna for allowing me to share her Facebook post (very funny stuff).  As always, everyone loves to read your comments and hear about your experiences. Take a moment and let us hear from you.  What’s the weirdest comma dysfunction you have seen? Make us laugh!

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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Evoking Attraction and Chemistry with the Written Word

As an author who loves to craft stories about relationships; attraction and chemistry are phenomena I spend a lot of time thinking about. For instance, how the energetic pull looks and feels and how I can best communicate it on the page.

When I was in my early 20s, I met a guy out dancing and when we locked eyes, I felt riveted. He was the worst kind of match for me but oh my god, the chemistry was insane. He was a rock star kisser as well which didn’t help matters. However, he was in a really bad place in his life and emotionally unavailable. Our chemistry felt so intense that I could feel him when he entered the club without being able to see him and he always seemed to know what I was thinking.

Years later, I saw him again and I couldn’t even conjure a shred of that crazy attraction I had felt with him. I had grown up and so had he and it just wasn’t there anymore.

I find attraction and chemistry to be baffling at times and very unpredictable. I have had chemistry in the past with men who I didn’t even particularly like and then zero with men who I found very good looking and appealing. It’s amazing to me that getting to know someone can totally change their appearance to me for the good or the bad.

At other times in my life there have been people who I really liked and enjoyed but found zero chemistry and I mean that for physical attraction but sometimes with friendship chemistry as well. A woman not long ago moved into our community and we hit it off instantly, quickly finding a place where we could share the REAL stuff that we are dealing with in life. It seems like we’ve been friends for years and at the same time there are many people I have known for years and have forged no real connection.

Luckily for me, I still feel incredible chemistry with my husband. That seems to die out for many people in long-term relationships but I would have to venture a guess that attraction wanes as the connection wanes. For us, we grow closer and more connected as time passes and we get to share more of life’s adventures together.

I believe attraction, chemistry and/or connection aren’t always a rational process. I think they live outside of the realm of the conscious mind.

I have often wondered if wild and crazy attraction is couple with an emotionally bad mix. I played with that very notion in the My Body Trilogy.

For me, humor, intelligence, affection, creativity, transparency and openness really attracts me to the people in my life. What about you? What attracts you or pulls you in? Have you had experiences with crazy chemistry?

This blog was inspired by an English friend I know who finds laughter to be one of most attractive aspects of a woman. Thanks Rupert for the suggestion. 🙂

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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