I just finished reading a very interesting article by Emma Gray on Huffington Post called BDSM Correlated With Better Mental Health, Says Study. It’s a fascinating read and there is a video clip as well.
Please let me clarify that they don’t mean that participating in the act of BDSM is what causes better mental health as opposed to their vanilla counterparts. The supposition of the researchers who ran the study is that because BDSM lives outside of the “norm”, it causes people to be more self-reflective which may lead to a happier life. They also believe that because kinky types of sex practices requires much more communication and self-disclosure, that those who participate may have closer, more connected relationships.
As someone who took many psych classes in college including research methods, their 
study is a bit thin. However, I tend to agree with the findings anyway. As I have mentioned many times on my blog, communication is the key to a closer relationship and better sex. Willingness to share fantasies that fall outside of the norm requires trust and also a knowing of oneself.
Healthy BDSM relationships use safewords and other forms of communication necessary to safely explore the depths of their desires. There seems to be something very powerful within relationships where one person willingly relinquishes control while the other takes the responsibility for having it.
The most upsetting part of the article for me was the reminder that BDSM and other fetishes fall in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) under paraphilia which means abnormal sexual activity. BDSM is a choice, not a psychological dysfunction!
Why as a society do we need to all be alike? For me, any sexual activity done between consenting adults is none of my business and shouldn’t be anyone else’s. As I have mentioned before, I do not live the BDSM lifestyle but find it truly fascinating to think about and write into my novels.
As a writer I get to travel to places I dare not go and am looking forward to my next adventure. 😉 Where do your fantasies take you? Are you with a partner that encourages you to talk about them? Take a chance this week and risk sharing one of your fantasies with your lover.
Love to read your comments on this post.
Warm hugs,
Blakely
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One of the more important factors for me, in writing a novel, is the dialogue between the characters. It must flow in a natural way and my readers should actually feel the different cadence between different people in the story.
