Tag Archives: Journey

The Journey or the Destination?

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imagesWhile my husband and I were at a dance recently, I had an epiphany. It’s not surprising that the thought came to me while dancing because I find incredible freedom in moving to music where my mind can get totally lost in the sway to the song (Thank you, Justin Timberlake for Suit and Tie). Totally connected to my body and the grooving beat, this is what popped in: I should be proud of my accomplishments and worry less about the destination.

I have two books published with the third of the My Body Trilogy coming out July 15th. My social media followers and friends are growing faster and faster each day. I’m balancing lots of work with plenty of time off and am content with my life.

For the first time ever, I find myself driven and focused and there is good reason for it. I’m chasing my dream job as an author and hoping to be a huge success. I want financial freedom for my husband and me so he too can focus on writing full-time.

The continuous drive is all well and good but I need to stop and smell the proverbial roses. I need to integrate and honor the small successes along the way and not solely focus on the end goal.

It’s hard at times because people are frequently asking me about my book sales and how it’s going. Is it appropriate to say, “Not as well as I’d hoped but it’s still early,” or “None of your fucking business?” Joking about the last comment but many people say things like, “Are you famous yet?” and “You must be rich.”

Unless you are E. L. James and a fluke (a rather good fluke), becoming a successful author is a process, and like any business, it takes time. I signed a contract with my publisher one year ago. My Body-His came out in November 2012, and My Body-His (Marcello) was released in March 2013. I have been told (not sure if there is any truth to it) that my books have a better chance of success once all novels of the trilogy are out. Fingers crossed!

So as I continued to gyrate to the beat of the song, I acknowledge that we, those who chase the dream, are few and far between and I should be proud to be among my fellow authors and artist making a go of it.

I’m sure I’ll have to remind myself that although the goal is important in keeping me motivated, the successes along the way need to be celebrated.

Like just now, I am holding My Body-Mine in my hands for the first time and I’m just in love with the cover. It’s thicker than book one and two because it’s longer and I can’t wait for my readers and fans to read the finale of the trilogy. I have done it. I not only have written one book but three and they will all soon be out in circulation.

I also excited to have the My Body Trilogy Blog Tour set for the end of July and you can join in the festivities and help me celebrate my successes.

Thanks again for taking the time to read my musing and as always, I love to read your comments.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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Values and Standards

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Values and standards are an interesting topic to me because they express so many dimensions that can effect a person’s life. I think one of the biggest impacts happens when we allow other people’s standards or values to dictate how we see ourselves or worse how we choose to behave because of fear of rejection or other negative ramifications. Our personal choices are the most powerful attribute we have as humans so why do we give it away?

The timeliest example I can think of has to do with my novels.  When I first tried to find an agent back in early 2009, I still had a very hard time talking about my books.  I felt embarrassed by what I thought other people would think.  Would they think me a sex fiend or assume, as some have, that the story is about me?  Could their opinions of me be so changeable regarding the dream I had chosen?  I think the biggest internal conflict people face is the pull between what they deem as right and good and the pressure that comes from other people’s opinions or worse, judgments.

I believe that relationships can be the hardest arena to navigate these issues.   I’m certain you won’t find any two people who agree on everything. The worst thing you can do in a relationship is take the position that YOUR values and YOUR standards are better/higher than another’s values.  The truth is that a lot of what we buy into is a fundamental part of our upbringing and cultural and even time period. So one’s values are not better than another, just different.

I’m happy to report that my feelings regarding my own works of fiction have changed.  The change came prior to the 50 Shades phenomena but I’m certain that the door has been opened to allow greater acceptance of alternative erotica because of E L James.

In My Body-His, Jane battles this very issue and allows it to create a gulf between her and her best friends.  She assumes her friends will not understand her choices and will instead be judgmental.  Instead of going to them for much needed support, she struggles on her own which leaves her feeling isolated and confused.

I think the best course of action is to feel good about our own choices without worrying too much about what the rest of the world might think about the routes we have chosen.  No greatness has come from following the pathway already carved.

How do differing values and standards effect your life?  Please share with us.

Warm hugs,

Blakely www.amazon.com/author/blakelybennett
http://www.amazon.com/My-Body-His-Blakely-Bennett/dp/1603815236/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349791682&sr=8-1&keywords=My+Body-His
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Body-His-series/359307324147300