Tag Archives: lack of sex

Sex is So Much More

Posted on by
4

Sex encompasses way more than the mere physical act especially when occurring in a long-term committed relationship. Sex is wholly gratifying in more ways than just the mere orgasmic experience.  As I’ve written before, there are many health benefits to having a healthy sex life but it encompasses even more.

A person gets to feel sexy and competent in bringing their husband or lover to satisfaction and satiation. Partners get to relive the best parts of sex and be excited about cumming together again. They can explore fantasies and continually grow in their trust with one another.

The physical expression of love helps people to feel more bonded and close to their partners. How can leaving sex out of the marriage equation be a good thing? I am baffled and intrigued by how many marriages seem to stay together with infrequent or no sex.

They tell me that there are other parts of the relationship that are great. They are friends, their wives or husbands are great moms or dads, and/or they have built a life together. Those are great parts of a marriage for sure and I don’t minimize them, but why is it that in our society sex seems to be the hardest thing to discuss openly. I do wonder sometimes if some women lose interest in their spouse because they aren’t satisfied and yet are too scared/worried to ask for what they want and need. I believe talking about sexual preferences is one of the best ways of increasing intimacy.

Why do we need to take it personally if someone wants a harder or softer touch or prefers one act or position to another? I know for me the things I really enjoy have changed over the years. This might be different for men but great sex happens for me, and I believe for most women, with greater connection and greater trust than a one night stand can provide.

I do differentiate between making love and fucking and frankly they both have their place of appreciation in my life. But even when my husband and I are experiencing raw passion with each other, a deep level of connection still exists.

I think our generation should do our damnedest to shift the culture of our society so we don’t have another generation treating sex like it has to be some big secret or something we can’t be honest about.

Hope you all had a great weekend! As always, I would love to hear your comments and thoughts on the topic.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

Love is a Verb

Posted on by
1

Love has been on my mind a lot lately while working on My Body-Mine, the third book in the My Body Trilogy but also from a real life perspective. In the last two weeks, I have found myself in three different conversations regarding love that I did not initiate. It’s really interesting to hear other people’s perspectives of what love is for them and how it works.

For me, love is an action.

Behavior is more trustworthy than words and words mean nothing when the behavior doesn’t match the affirmation, “I love you!”.   I’m sure everyone has heard of or seen a situation where a couple is supposed to be “in love” but one member of the couple is very abusive to the other like with Luke and Jane in My Body-His. To me, words are easy to throw around but it’s what you do that really shows whether or not you love someone.

So, my first conversation was with an old friend from childhood and he stated rather empathically that love is fleeting. I quickly countered that from my experience that is not the case.  My husband and I have been together almost 18 years now and for us, our love has grown and evolved over the years.  Even when we experienced growing pains, individually or collectively, we have always ended up better and closer on the other side of it.  It would be silly for me to dismiss his assumption out of hand because many love relationships are fleeting in our culture.  I just know that love doesn’t have to be an ever waning experience.  A few of our close friends also have wonderful love relationships, longer than ours, that are totally inspirational. So from our experience, love is alive and well and something that can keep blossoming.

The second conversation had to do with loving and liking someone.  My contention is that you can love someone and not like them much at all.  A relatively new friend of mine was adamant that if you love someone, you have to like them too. There have been times with my parents, my husband and even with my daughter where I didn’t particularly like them in a given moment or longer but I always loved them.  For me you can feel both or either at a given time.

In the third conversation, at a get together this past weekend, one man ask another to share his definition of love. He said that the best definition of love he had heard was that love is an emotion that focuses on the good parts of someone while having blinders to the bad stuff. That was the general gist anyway. I would argue that real love sees all the parts of the person and loves them despite their flaws or even because of them.  I shared with them that to me love is a verb, the behaviors that show how you feel about another.  Does Luke love Jane? Does he even like her?  I would have to say that based on his behavior he has no clue what loving someone really looks like.

So what are the behaviors of love? I’m sitting here and wondering if this is a universal answer or just a Blakely answer. I hope you, my readers, will chime in on this one. For me love is about time, attention, support, and having a positive regard for your partner. Whether it’s a touch on the shoulder in passing, a kiss just before you leave for work, cleaning up the kitchen even though it’s “their” job that night, spooning in bed, making love, working on yourself to be a better partner or parent, offering support when needed…the list really is endless.  Those are the actions of love and the real definition to me.

Another facet of romantic love for me is the want to satisfy my partner. I understand that relationships are complicated and that not everyone prioritizes intimacy like we do but I also don’t understand how you can love someone and not care at all if they are satisfied sexually. Many people I know have stopped having sex with their partners or have far less sex than they would like. Just last night we watched the movie called Hope Springs and in that film the couple hadn’t had sex in four years. That is unfathomable to me because making love is the very best part of being in love!

The people I love in my life, friends and family, are people I invest my time and energy in.  Love is definitely more than a feeling for me.

Do you see love as an action or an emotion? What do you do to show your love to another?

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Could Lack of Sex Be Killing You?

Posted on by
2

According to Dr. Oz, the leading health problem in the United States isn’t obesity but lack of sex. The average sex life is once a week, thank god I don’t live by that standard! The good doctor says if you increase having sex from once a week to twice a week you will live three years longer. I wonder if that is exponential if you have it even more often.

I hear so much from men about how their wives have just completely lost interest in sex. I have to wonder if it’s because A. they are sucky lovers (sorry guys), B. they don’t work on having a close intimate relationship with their wife, (most women need a connection to want to have sex) or C. their wives need their hormones checked.

According to Dr. Oz’s article, one in seven women has never cum. No orgasms. Zip, nada, zilch. I can’t even imagine it. Guess what the biggest hang up is regarding sex? Can you guess it?  ~People are too scared to talk about sex.~ As I have said before, it’s unfathomable to me because how do you get your needs met if you can’t even communicate them? YOU DON’T!

Dr. Mike Moreno says sex can boost your immune system, reduce the risk of prostate cancer, and protect your heart. Because of the biochemical released, it can reduce stress and make you happier. For women going through menopause, the more sex the better which reduces the chance of vaginal dryness. Dr. Mike agrees with Dr. Oz, sex adds years to your life. Dr. Mike prescribes sex at least three times a week.

I, for one, would like to live a long, healthy life and it’s good to know I’m adding years by having the time of my life.

As always, your thoughts and comments are welcomed.

Warm hugs,

Blakely www.amazon.com/author/blakelybennett
http://www.amazon.com/My-Body-His-Blakely-Bennett/dp/1603815236/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349791682&sr=8-1&keywords=My+Body-His
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Body-His-series/359307324147300