Tag Archives: My Body-His

BDSM Bedtime Stories – Audio excerpt from My Body-His (Marcello)

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I’m happy to share an audio excerpt from the second novel of the My Body Trilogy, My Body-His (Marcello).  It’s a hot and sexy f/f scene for your audio pleasure.  A huge thanks to BookAddict ~ La Crimson Femme for making the recording.

Adult content: Must be 18 or older.

Please comment and let me know what you think and like on youtube.

Thanks and warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

My Very First Book Signing

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DSC_0018Another long standing dream came true January 12, 2013 at the book launch for My Body-His, the first book in the My Body Trilogy.  Every now and again in life, reality turns out to be better than the imagination.  Surrounded by the support of many of our friends and new people to meet, I learned yet again that being an author is what I want to do and what I love.

DSC_0023My only real worry about the event was that people were not going to show.  I would be left standing around twiddling my thumbs and as a last resort I would have to stand outside hauling people into Uppercase Bookshop to have people to read to.  However, what really happened at 6:30 pm on Saturday night with the temperature hovering around twenty-four degrees, a packed Snohomish where parking is difficult to find and a flu epidemic, was that so many people showed in support of my dream that I had to lean against the rail on top step and project my voice down to the people standing on the first floor.

DSC_0025I didn’t feel particularly nervous as I thanked everyone for coming but as soon as I started reading from My Body-His my adrenaline shot up so high, it took me a few minutes to regain my equilibrium.

DSC_0020I so enjoyed signing books and looking up to see a line of people waiting their turn.  I had all my catchy phrases ready in my head but used none of them.  I ended up personalizing each book I signed.

DSC_0008My girlfriend Melissa suggested that a bunch of people meet up before the book signing and that was a great idea.  I felt so relax surrounded by friends ahead of time.  I plan to do that again for my next book signing.

Make sure to check back for future signing events that will be coming in March to launch the second book of the trilogy, My Body-His (Marcello).

Thanks again to Uppercase Bookshop, Catherine Treadgold and Jennifer McCord from FannyPress, and my husband whose ongoing support through the whole process is invaluable to me.  And a special shout out to everyone who came to the event.

Warmest hugs,

Blakely Bennett

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

Pussy Willow

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As a writer, I happen to love words and it’s exciting when I learn a new one.  Some of my all-time favorites are flibbertigibbet (I love how that one feels in my mouth), oxymoronic, and conniption fit which is actually a phrase but also fun to say.

When it comes to the female genitalia, words to name and describe are sorely lacking.  For example, pussy denotes a weak man and cunt a hard woman and for whatever reason, cunt has become beyond a four letter word to many people, most especially women.  We are left with vagina which sounds rather clinical or crotch which sounds rough and masculine.

At least for the male genitalia we have phallus which is a strong, almost statuesque word, or cock which is perfectly fine and only denotes an overly confident man in the form of cocky.  We can live with that one I think.  Dick is okay but falls more along with pussy and cunt because an assholic man can be referred to as a dick.

As indebted as I feel toward E. L. James, I have to admit that using “there” to refer to the pussy isn’t at all appealing to me.

If you haven’t figure this out already, finding new ways to describe sex and body parts is a huge part of being an effective erotic writer and that is why this matters so much to me.  And if you have any issues with the ones I used above, hold your hat for far more insulting and scary ones.  Please forgive me in advance for some that I found online and have to share for the mere offensiveness of them.

Here goes: Bearded clam (That is disgusting on so many levels! Must stay away from all seafood references.), Soft Shell Tuna Taco (OMG! Rule two, stay away from any food references unless you are using cherry to describe the color of her inner folds.), Camel Toe, Slit, Pit (I could live with slit but it would have to be in context), Cum Dumpster, Fuzzy Taco, Beaver (eww, eww, and eww), Sweaty Love Box, Choochie, Snake Pit (Can you imagine… He forced his python into her snake pit. Blah!), Peach (Okay, I might have to have a second exception to the food list but only to be used in a romance novels. 🙂 ), Holster, Snatch, Chonch (No, no and most definitely no. Well unless it’s a hokey western romance where he slides is revolver into her holster. Nah, I’ll stick with the no.), Tunnel of Love, Joy Trail, and Sex (The first two are bit too romancey for me but not offensive and Sex might be used in the right place although hardly descriptive.).

I could go on and on sharing words that are used to describe the beautiful, flowering entrance to a woman’s body and soul but I will leave you with a few that I like and a few I don’t understand in the least.  Maybe you can sort me out on those.

Explain these please: Arm Sleeves – I’m no prude but I’m not sure what this means? Is this a vaginal fisting reference? Cooter – This is a turtle.  How is that relevant?  Mace – Because it temporarily disables a man?  Please feel free to enlighten me.

Here are some that I found funny: Bloomin’ Onion, Masturbation Contingency Plan, Next to the Butt Nut Hut, Lovin’ Oven, Erection Correction Trench, and Velvet Underground.

Some that are not so heinous: Pussy Willow, Honey Pot, Cozy, Mound, Sheath, and Womanhood but honestly none that I could see using other than “mound”: He quickly pulled out his hard cock and came all over her mound. Or something like that.

Please share with me your words for the female genitalia as I am always game to learn something new. And you never know, it might end up in My Body-Mine. 😉

I hope your new year is getting off to a great start!

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

Happy New Year and 2013 Intentions

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I find the New Year to be a great time to reflect on people and events that I’m truly grateful for from 2012 and set my intentions for the coming year.

Let me begin by saying a big thanks to you, my readers, for checking out my blog and for supporting my dreams by purchasing my novels.  Without you, my dreams could never become a reality.

I feel incredibly grateful to my husband who pushed me to try again to get My Body-His published in 2012. Having someone supporting you in pursuit of your dreams is invaluable. I’m grateful for Catherine from Fanny Press who saw and sees the value in my writing.

I’m grateful for my daughter who is an exceptional teenager and makes me feel like the best mother in the world and for my two stepdaughters and family that I love so much. I so appreciate my family and close friends for their enthusiasm and support of me chasing my dreams.

I’m hugely grateful to have found a man who encourages me to be me and for loving me all the while. Isn’t that what we are all looking for?

And finally, I’m grateful to myself for taking better care of my body and spirit this year and taking the risk of seeking publishing for my dark erotic novels.

I read an article the other day “Five Things You Can Do Instead of New Year’s Resolution” by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. which suggested that instead of setting your New Year’s resolutions you would serve yourself better by doing these five things:

  1. Write yourself a letter from your future self, letting you know what accomplishments you made in 2013.  Kind of like positive projection from your older self. (We did a dream list instead which was a lot of fun to do.)
  2. List your favorite moments and accomplishments from 2012.  (I like this one a lot. I think it’s too easy to focus on the negative and far more helpful to our overall outlook if we focus on the positive.)
  3. She goes on to suggest that we should make a list of the five things we are most looking forward to in 2013. (We decided to create a list of intentions.)
  4. List what you are grateful for. (See above.  That was my list from Thanksgiving which is another yearly tradition.)
  5. Lastly, make a commitment to someone else. She recommends donating your time or money to a cause you care about.

I have set a handful of intentions for the new year and I will share a few of them with you:

  • I will continue to take great care of my body and spirit and to increase my fitness while maintaining my current weight. (There is nothing better than exercise to keep me grounded and positive.)
  • I will finish My Body-Mine, the third novel in the My Body Trilogy no later than March 1st.  I plan to have the first draft done by the end of January but want to have plenty of time to edit and rework as necessary.
  • As soon as MBM is finalized, I will help my husband finish, edit and get his novel published.  I’m very excited to help him accomplish his dreams as well.
  • Find more cool places to hike in the Northwest!  Have any suggestions for me?

I would love to hear what you have set for your intentions in the New Year. Please share with us.

Check back next week for my blog called Pussywillow. 😉

Warm hugs and safe partying,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

Expectations Part Deux

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In my first blog on expectations I wrote about positive and negative filters but didn’t address being invested in a particular outcome. I remember a great example of a time when my expectations were sorely tested. One Saturday morning, the only day that week we had to sleep in, we were lying in bed beginning to get amorous but still not quite part of the waking world when the phone rang at 9:00 AM…rude on a Saturday in my not so humble opinion.

This was back when I was doing bookkeeping and there was a meeting set for the morning. I had previously provided them with the reports they had requested but the man on the phone wanted more. So I booted up my computer and shot over more reports. Then, before I could steal back to bed, another call came in asking me financial questions that my brain was not up to speed to answer. Keep in mind this meeting was formed and called at the last minute on a Saturday morning which I was NOT required to attend. Turns out the financial question was a simple one that had I been asked later in the day would have been blatantly apparent but instead, an hour passed until it was resolved. Anger had done its job by that point in waking me up completely.

So what does all of that have to do with expectations? By the time the impromptu phone conference finished, neither my husband nor I were in the head space to head back to bed. Our expectations for our Saturday morning were shot and really affected our mood.

My idealized self is a go-with-the-flow kind of woman but the truth of me is that a very aggravating meeting first thing in the morning messed with my mojo. I’m happy to say we were able to shake it off by that evening and had a wonderful Sunday together but it certainly made me think about how attached I am to my expectations.

To me it felt especially harsh given that Saturdays are MY time with my husband and I hate when other people’s piss poor planning effects my day. The hardest part was being aware of how much it impacted both my husband and me. It did, however, stimulate another blog for me to write so it wasn’t all bad. 😉

I do tend to be flexible about change especially when it’s not interfering with my free time. My husband and daughter have a harder time adjusting to unexpected change and it’s a good thing to know about a person. It makes it easier to understand why someone gets upset when things go in an unexpected direction.

I know I could have chosen not to answer the phone that morning and if I had to do it all over again I probably would have let the call go to voice mail. Next time I will.

I must add the caveat that for people like me, who like surprises, the unexpected can sometimes be very welcomed. Just don’t get me out of bed early when I have other things on my mind!

How do you handle unexpected changes when you have expectations of how something will go? Is it easy for you to let it roll off your back or do you have a hard time adjusting? Please share your comments and stories.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His Marcello for pre-sale on Amazon here.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

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I hope all my readers are enjoying this holiday season.  I wanted to share with you the wonderful and thoughtful gift my step-daughter and son-in-law made for me.  Check out this cool ornament which will now be a yearly tradition on our tree.

I will post my usual weekly blog tomorrow.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Love is a Verb

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Love has been on my mind a lot lately while working on My Body-Mine, the third book in the My Body Trilogy but also from a real life perspective. In the last two weeks, I have found myself in three different conversations regarding love that I did not initiate. It’s really interesting to hear other people’s perspectives of what love is for them and how it works.

For me, love is an action.

Behavior is more trustworthy than words and words mean nothing when the behavior doesn’t match the affirmation, “I love you!”.   I’m sure everyone has heard of or seen a situation where a couple is supposed to be “in love” but one member of the couple is very abusive to the other like with Luke and Jane in My Body-His. To me, words are easy to throw around but it’s what you do that really shows whether or not you love someone.

So, my first conversation was with an old friend from childhood and he stated rather empathically that love is fleeting. I quickly countered that from my experience that is not the case.  My husband and I have been together almost 18 years now and for us, our love has grown and evolved over the years.  Even when we experienced growing pains, individually or collectively, we have always ended up better and closer on the other side of it.  It would be silly for me to dismiss his assumption out of hand because many love relationships are fleeting in our culture.  I just know that love doesn’t have to be an ever waning experience.  A few of our close friends also have wonderful love relationships, longer than ours, that are totally inspirational. So from our experience, love is alive and well and something that can keep blossoming.

The second conversation had to do with loving and liking someone.  My contention is that you can love someone and not like them much at all.  A relatively new friend of mine was adamant that if you love someone, you have to like them too. There have been times with my parents, my husband and even with my daughter where I didn’t particularly like them in a given moment or longer but I always loved them.  For me you can feel both or either at a given time.

In the third conversation, at a get together this past weekend, one man ask another to share his definition of love. He said that the best definition of love he had heard was that love is an emotion that focuses on the good parts of someone while having blinders to the bad stuff. That was the general gist anyway. I would argue that real love sees all the parts of the person and loves them despite their flaws or even because of them.  I shared with them that to me love is a verb, the behaviors that show how you feel about another.  Does Luke love Jane? Does he even like her?  I would have to say that based on his behavior he has no clue what loving someone really looks like.

So what are the behaviors of love? I’m sitting here and wondering if this is a universal answer or just a Blakely answer. I hope you, my readers, will chime in on this one. For me love is about time, attention, support, and having a positive regard for your partner. Whether it’s a touch on the shoulder in passing, a kiss just before you leave for work, cleaning up the kitchen even though it’s “their” job that night, spooning in bed, making love, working on yourself to be a better partner or parent, offering support when needed…the list really is endless.  Those are the actions of love and the real definition to me.

Another facet of romantic love for me is the want to satisfy my partner. I understand that relationships are complicated and that not everyone prioritizes intimacy like we do but I also don’t understand how you can love someone and not care at all if they are satisfied sexually. Many people I know have stopped having sex with their partners or have far less sex than they would like. Just last night we watched the movie called Hope Springs and in that film the couple hadn’t had sex in four years. That is unfathomable to me because making love is the very best part of being in love!

The people I love in my life, friends and family, are people I invest my time and energy in.  Love is definitely more than a feeling for me.

Do you see love as an action or an emotion? What do you do to show your love to another?

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Reviews

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It has been interesting for me to read the reviews of My Body-His. The last two reviewers really hated Luke, the main male character. I imagined people would feel more like Bookie Nookie who wrote, “Honestly, Luke is one of those heroes you love to hate and I can’t really decide at the moment if I want him or want to kill him.”

I don’t quite understand the abject hatred of Luke. I see him as a flawed, damaged character and Jane can choose to leave at any time. Of course, I know more of the back story than the rest of the readers that comes to light in My Body-His (Marcello) the second book of the My Body trilogy. I didn’t intend for people to hate him, however I did hope people would feel Jane’s plight and it is clear to me that is happening.

I honestly see more of a love to hate him scenario than a hate to hate him. It will be interesting to hear the views of the men who read the novel (all the reviewers have been female so far). I wonder if men will feel the same way about Luke.

One reviewer didn’t care for Jane either and another said she thought Jane was addicted to the orgasms Luke doled out. I don’t see Jane as addicted to the sex which Luke uses to keep her engaged. She is addicted to his love and approval which he dishes out and then takes away again. That is the addiction for Jane.

Of course the wonderful thing about reading a book is that you get to decide what it all means to you and with that, I will let you all decide for yourself.

Now that the book is out, I would love to know what you think.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Who Has the Power in Your Relationship?

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I asked a couple of my girlfriends, “Who has the power in your relationship?” One said that she thought she did sometimes and her husband did other times. However, her husband was sitting on the other side of me and he stated empathically that she has the power, because even if he feels differently about how something should be done, she ends up wearing him down and they do what she wants. I asked my other girlfriend who was sitting with us the same question and she said that her boyfriend learned from his past marriages three things: “Keep Momma happy, keep Momma happy, and keep Momma happy.” So in both of those cases the women have the power in their relationships.

Jane, in My Body-His and My Body-His (Marcello), gives away her power leaving a gross imbalance. She can never really find her equilibrium without having an equal say. I understand there are people who love to relinquish all control because I have chatted with a few but I am speaking to the more common relationship dynamic.

My husband and I have found a way to compromise as we both have strong opinions and personalities. We share the power. We sometimes argue about it but less and less as the years go on.

Girlfriend #2 asked me if I have some judgment over what works best and at the time I said, “We all have our dance to work out.” But after pondering for a while, the truth is I do have some opinions around it. I believe, unless you are married to a completely selfless person, resentment must build when one person continually gives up what they want or how they think something should be handled which can lead to passive-aggressive behavior. I don’t believe a truly healthy relationship exists if one person is always giving in.

Part of really loving another person is valuing how they see life and what they need out of it. If it’s always about what one person wants, that seems pretty selfish to me. Relationships are about compromise and sharing life’s challenges equally.  It’s not a compromise if one person is always having it “their” way. Compromise is midway between two extremes and not about giving in.

Taking a superior position of one’s own opinions is a form of control and a way of getting what you want. I have a hard time imagining that this type of dynamic can beget a close intimate relationship.  For me it shows a lack of respect for the other person.

This all ties back into honesty and the fear of confrontation that I wrote about in “We Kill Our Intimacy with Politeness”. The fear of confrontation that many people have is the very thing that allows others to control them. So while we experience an immediate feeling of “safety” by avoiding confrontation, the long term consequences is the loss of personal integrity and the possibility for a close, intimate connection.

For me, finding a balance of power in all my relationships promotes a fair, respectful, and harmonious existence. Still working on this with some of the people in my life, but learning more every day.

Who has the power in your relationship? How do you negotiate when you have a difference of opinion?

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Limerence and/or NRE

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“Limerence” and New Relationship Energy (NRE) is the state of biochemical pleasure that so many people crave and yet really don’t understand. It’s the very intense feelings you have in the beginning of a new relationship. Dorothy Tennov coined the term limerence in 1979 in her book called, “Love and Limerence”.

Limerence can cause a whole host of behaviors from the more mild forms of being unable to focus, always thinking about the person of desire, checking your phone or email messages obsessively, and in the most extreme cases you might find a person resorting to stalking behaviors. NRE is a term used in the same vein but without the obsessive aspects.

Jane, most definitely suffers from limerence in My Body-His and confuses it with love.

Most people, like Jane’s character, are unconscious about what motivates their choices and decisions when in a limerent or NRE state and tend to confuse it with love. If people were more aware of the neurological effects, they could still enjoy the wonderful biochemical dance running through their blood stream but not succumb to the crazy behaviors or thought patterns that can manifest during the throes of unbridled hormonal passion best known as dopamine- the “LOVE” connection.

People, who tend to have very short-term relationships, are probably addicted to the limerent chemical rush and/or NRE. As soon as its effects begin to wear off, they move on to a “new” relationship. Hey, it’s good stuff and rumor has it that it can last up to 2 years. I’m here to testify that the good parts can last much, much longer when there is open and honest communication and ongoing intimacy. My husband and I still have it!

Limerence, not understood, can lead people to make bad choices for themselves like moving across the country for someone they barely know or getting married before they have figured out whether or not they are truly compatible or ending a long marriage over an affair.

I think NRE is great and know it can really work for people if they stay conscious enough to deal with it responsibly and knowledgably. Let love rule but don’t let it cloud your brain.

Warm hugs,

Blakely www.amazon.com/author/blakelybennett
http://www.amazon.com/My-Body-His-Blakely-Bennett/dp/1603815236/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349791682&sr=8-1&keywords=My+Body-His
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