The Importance of Passion

What gets your pulse thudding and your blood pumping? What churns you to feel the drive of your desires? You might think I’m merely asking about sex and attraction however, I have been thinking a lot about passion lately on a few different levels. Like how it pertains to my writing because if there is one common denominator in erotica, it’s most probably the passion but also as it pertains to what truly motivates us in life and how it factors in our relationships.

I firmly believe when we are truly passionate about person, job, or anything else, we become highly motivated in acquiring or achieving. Not so long ago, when I worked in a corporate job, I thought most of the men I worked with and for were work-a-holics. However, I now understand that they were driven to succeed in an occupation where their passions lie. I can say this because I’m living my passion as a published author, highly driven toward success and my daughter now refers to me as the work-a-holic. I quickly shake it off, mostly because she really has no concept of hard work and how much time it can take. I probably work eight to ten hours a day between writing, editing, and social media and put time in on the weekends as well. I also take time off when I’m feeling burnt out so I don’t exhaust myself or my drive and I get to set my own hours so I can.

The importance of passion is very clear to me now. I believe we all need it to truly feel alive in our lives. It surely doesn’t have to be found in an occupation. It can be a hobby, family, exercise, or many other activities. I often wish I was as passionate about exercise as the marathon runners or long distance bikers. My passion for exercise and a firm body runs in a cycle from extremely focus and driven to drop a few pounds and build muscle to being a slug. Fortunately for me the slugdom phase is far shorter. Since moving out to the Northwest, I blame it on the winter and the lack of sun. Fortunately Spring is moving in as will be my resolve to drop five pounds of fat while adding at least as much in muscle mass. 🙂

As it pertains to writing, which I’m sure by now if you have read my novels or follow my site you understand how passionate I am regarding the written word. I strive to fully communicate the range of desire, attraction, flirtation, sex and longing. I recently watch a Bollywood movie that told the story of two sisters who fell in love and eventually married the men of their desire. The film depicted no sex or kissing and the only physical touch happened through hugging but they clearly showed longing, chemistry, and passion merely through facial expressions and eye contact. It made me consider how I communicate passion via the written word and how sometimes covert longing is more powerful than overt desire.

In relationship passion has amazing binding power and helps longevity. It’s definitely works that way for my husband and me (18 years and going strong). I do wonder why passion and desire seems to fade in many relationships and when I craft stories about relationships, I can’t help analyzing why one relationship can last for the long-term while others do not. This may sound silly to some, but I believe because my husband and I, even after all this time, never run out of things to talk about, we still enjoy spending time together. I’m sure having great chemistry is a huge help as well. 😉

I’ve known for a long time that writing is my passion and now I get to live it in a new exciting way. Thanks to all my friends, family, and fans that support me in making my passions my life.

What are you passionate about? How does it motivate you? Please share with me and my readers. Thanks!

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) on Amazon here.

The Nu Project and the Female Body

My husband turned me onto The Nu Project website where women from all over North and South American have submitted their nude photos in support of the endeavor to show what real women look like.  That’s not to say models are not real women, however they are so far in the minority that to base our societies standards on their physiques is to set up a culture where the majority of women feel dissatisfied with their bodies.  This project celebrates all types of women’s shapes and curves. I, for one, think it’s fabulous.

As someone who has often compared herself to women twenty years younger than I, I love to see all shapes and size represented.  In the My Body Trilogy, my characters are fit and lean mostly because that’s what I find appealing although I plan to write other novels with all types of characters represented.  Lauren Dane, in one of her Chase Brothers series novels, has a full-figured main female character which I very much enjoyed.

I’m considered an average size woman now but in my early adulthood I was definitely full-figured and struggled with my own self-image.  As a practicing nudist, one of the most liberating aspects is to see all shapes and sizes of men and women and their comfort level with their own bodies.  Each and every body is unique and loving my own body, makes me even more inclined to take great care of it.

My husband and I just watched Monique Marvez: Not Skinny Not Blonde comedy show on Showtime.  I highly recommend that you check it out.  We laughed our asses off but it also enlightened me to a very important fact of life.  Something I probably unconsciously knew but never spent much time thinking about.  She said that how women see themselves, us being our own worst critics, is very different than how men see us, most especially the men who love us.  I believe this to be true so from now on I plan to see myself through my husband’s eyes instead of my own because he has such a positive attitude toward how I look.  🙂

I’m excited to share The Nu Project with you and help promote any endeavor that shines a positive light on a culture based on reality instead of an ideal.  Hopefully the project will expand to include men as well.

Check it out and let me know what you think.  As always, I love to read your comments.

I hope everyone had a wonderful week.  The blog tour is going well and the official release of My Body-His (Marcello) happened on Friday which is very exciting.  Looking forward to reading your reviews.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) on Amazon here.

Bondage

I have read about the psychology of bondage (research!) and have written several sex scenes that include one form or another of restraint. It seems pretty apparent to me that it’s a fairly mainstream activity for couples to dabble in and if the statistics are correct, even more mainstream since 50 Shades of Grey hit the stands. Just go into any adult boutique and you can see bondage is alive and well. You can purchase handcuffs and blindfolds and other fun toys to use for such endeavors.

Bondage and discipline is a favorite activity of the men in the My Body Trilogy. I’m fascinated by the trust it takes to allow someone to restrain your body and, by all accounts, the act can create a deep sense of closeness. I wonder about the attraction of being shackled and abused. I do understand that it adds a level of excitement and danger that can set your pulse racing, at least it works that way for the submissives with whom I have spoken and Jane, the main female character in my novels. There is something appealing in letting go of control and trusting someone else to take you to a place where you are left in a puddle of stimulation and sensation that sends you into intense orgasm.

I like reading BDSM stories that incorporate bondage as a theme. I like the stories best when the female is a reluctant participant but ultimately makes the decision to participate. I do find it interesting that what I read may be far more extreme than I would ever care to experience, but it’s still a turn on. I guess that’s why I write that way as well.

I love the rub (pun intended ;)) between what people think should turn them on and what actually does.

The idea of control within sex is a captivating topic and entrusting yourself to another via bondage, is the gift of the submissive.

Is the idea of bondage a turn on or off? Is it something you would consider trying? Please share your stories with us. 🙂

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

My Blog Tour!

My Body Series Button 600 x 425 (1)

I’m very excited to share that my blog tour is starting today.  There will be an ebook giveaway at each site so make sure to comment!

Here are all the links for the coming days.  You can also hit the tour button on the right sidebar which will take you to the most current site.

If you come across a blog you would like to comment on or have other questions for me after reading one of the interviews, feel free to post your questions here.

I hope everyone had a wonderful week.  We are actually having sunshine in the good ol’ Northwest.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

March 4 Guest blog
Roxanne’s Realm
 
March 6 Interview
Pembroke Sinclair.
 
March 7 Guest blog and review
Romance Addict Book Blog
 
March 8 Interview
Fang-tastic Books
 
March 9 Interview
The Creatively Green Write at Home Mom
 
March 11 Spotlight and review
Readaholic’s Reviews
 
March 12 Excerpt and review
Erzabet’s Enchantments
 
March 14 Spotlight
Provocative Pages
 
March 15 Naughty Nook Feature
Bewitching Book Tours Magazine page 59
 
March 20 Guest blog and review
Urban Girl Reader –
 
March 21 Interview
Jodie Pierce
 
March 22 Guest blog and review
Hooked In a Book
 
March 23 Spotlight
A Bibliophiles Thoughts on Books
 
March 24 Spotlight
Mila Ramos
 
March 25 Spotlight
Reviewing in Chaos
 
March 27 Guest blog
Erotica For All,
 
March 28 Interview and review
Nightstand Novels

March 29 Interview and review
My Home Away From Home –
www.officialmhafh.com

April 2 Spotlight
Lisa’s World of Books
 
April 3 Spotlight
My Sexy Escapes

Sexual Brain Differences between Men and Women

A while back, I read a fascinating article called Love, Sex, and the Male Brain by Louann Brizendine.  According to Louann our brains are mostly alike but there are variances when it comes to sex, relating, and territorial behaviors. Men have a larger area of the brain dedicated to defending their turf. I wonder if this makes men more prone to jealousy than women. I have also pondered whether or not jealousy is a modern cultural phenomenon.  If we are programmed genetically to guard that which is ours, then is it an instinctual process?

In contrast, Louann tells us that women have a larger area of the brain dedicated to understanding and getting in sync with other people’s emotions, facial expressions, and body language.

The biggest dichotomy she found was that the male brain has a two and a half times larger area of for sexual pursuit than women.  This is not at all surprising to me.

She discusses the differing levels of male hormones during diverse ages and says that testosterone puts boys/men in a ‘Man Trance’. According to the author, men cannot help themselves because they are programmed to always be on the hunt for fertile females. Checking out women’s breasts comes second nature to men and they fail to understand why their looking should upset the women they are with. I have to agree with this point. Even if you are monogamous, I don’t think wearing blinders like a horse is necessary. I’m not saying that men should have carte blanche to behave in any manner but a little self-esteem goes a really long way in my opinion.

If you’ve read my first novel, My Body-His, then you know I’m fascinated by what motivates people to behave the way they do.  In the second book, My Body-His (Marcello) you will have the opportunity to be ensconced in a power struggle between Luke and Marcello over Jane.  They don’t go as far as banging their chests but they are both lobbying to have sole control over the object of their desire.

Men do fall in “love” as hard as women, according to Luanne, and when a woman gets pregnant, her pheromones affect her man’s testosterone by reducing his output by 30%.  This is just nature’s insurance that the man will stick around through the pregnancy.

Louann goes on to say that there is a misconception that women are more emotional than men. According to her, men have stronger emotional reactions than women do. Men, however, are much better at covering it up and far quicker at doing so. I have to speculate that this particular behavior is culturally driven because men are told they must appear strong and in control.

Here’s the article if you would like to read it for yourself: http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/23/brizendine.male.brain/index.html?hpt=C1

What are some of the differences you have found between you and partners? Love to read your thoughts.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

Kissing

Kissing is one of the wonderful joys in life. I love the taste, smell, and feel of a kiss. I have often pondered if kissing is a teachable behavior or if it’s like two puzzle pieces that either fit together or don’t.  I have been known to say that lip-locking is the gateway drug and the sure fire indicator of sexual compatibility.

Personally, kissing is important to me.  My husband and I have been kissing for a long wonderful time and it’s a dance that still leaves me lightheaded and very much turned on. I love the journey from soft to hard and back again. I love the ones that linger and take me to places I’ve never been.

I, for one, think kissing should happen often and not only as a start of sexual activity.  Like hugging and cuddling, it shoots us full of lovely bonding chemicals and keeps couples close and more connected.

Professionally kissing is something that I strive to describe thoroughly and accurately without the constant redundancy.  It’s not always an easy task.

So that brings me back to wondering if kissing is something that can be cultivated or is it simply preference? Is kissing something that can evolve with enough practice?

Two kissers from my past stand out to me because of their not so great technique.  One guy used his tongue like a spear, making it very pointy and swirled his tongue around and around in my mouth.  We dated very briefly.  LOL! Second guy thought his tongue a sword and like to duel without lip-locking.  Both styles fell into the realm of turn offs.  Could I have coached them to kiss more to my preference if I had been bold enough to say what I liked and didn’t care for?  I’m not sure.

A friend once shared that we all kiss a bit differently and it’s a journey to find a mutual place in the kisses. I like this philosophy.

My husband feels that a lot of it is innate, a talent, an ability to share a kiss with a woman that encourages her to weaken at the knees and to gather herself when pausing for a breath.

Do you think kissing is a talent or something that can be learned and cultivated?  Love to hear from you, my readers.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

Interview and First Review for My Body-His Marcello

To read the interview click here.

To read the first review for My Body-His (Marcello), the second book of the My Body Trilogy click here.

Let me know what you think. 🙂

Warm hugs,

Blakley

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

Reviews: To Read or Not to Read

That is the question.  It’s always great to get a good review, no one minds that.  However, a scathing review—I have never even remotely written one—is rather hard to swallow.  Frankly, if I hated a book, I would never finish it.   I have had people not like My Body-His and yet say they plan to read the second and third book of the Trilogy.  Not that I mind, but what is that about?

Fortunately, most of my reviews have been great or at least good.  I knew, going into getting published, that not everyone would enjoy the suspense, tension, excitement of Jane’s journey.  All anyone has to do is read reviews on anything like movies, music, art shows, etc. to know, there are always contrary view points.  This is where I either need to grow tougher skin or stop reading the reviews.  So it begs the question, should I keep reading them or not?  I’m not sure I have the self-discipline at this point to stay away.  Especially with My Body-His (Marcello) hitting the stands in March.

On the plus side of all this review business, when I received my very first one star review from La Crimson Femme, I thought it such a great review (she loved my writing style but not the story), that I thanked her for the review.  People had commented below her post, wondering what the author was thinking regarding a few choices in the novel so I began a dialogue with the reviewer and a few other people which can be found on Goodreads.

She later asked me if I would be interested in participating in the BDSM Bedtime Stories that they create using a scene from an erotic novel.  I was pleased to be asked and we have forged a tremendous respect for one another.

Entering into any new venture there is always so much to learn.  I have discovered yet again the power of being kind and respectful.  Check out La Crimson Femme’s blog which has the audio BDSM Bedtime Story from My Body-His (Marcello).  Below the audio is a blog she wrote about me: http://lacrimsonfemme.blogspot.com/2013/01/hot-little-ff-audio-excerpt.html?zx=f35fec209eb6fd28  Thanks again LCF!

I’m still on the fence regarding reading more reviews but I now know never to read the bad ones when I’m not feeling well and my defenses are down.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful start to the New Year.  Love to read your comments.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.

Beast of the Southern Wild

Rarely is there a movie that genuinely takes me by surprise and moves me like Beast of the Southern Wild.  We stumbled upon it at Redbox and later found out that it has been nominated for four Academy Awards (which I think is far too little).  Henry, the actor who played Wink, should have been nominated for best actor in a leading role.

My husband and I were blown away by the unique story and the acting.  Although I am an avid movie watcher, it is so infrequent that I make a point of recommending one.  So much of what is out today are remakes and superhero/comic movies which do not take me anywhere new or to an alternate reality that I care to experience.

Beast was art in film and the story of how it ultimately got off the ground and found its audience is awe inspiring.  Kudos to Robert Redford for creating Sundance and for the support they offer to new film makers.

The two main characters, Wink and Hushpuppy, had never acted before and the main female lead was just 6 years old.  She has been nominated for an Academy Award which I truly hope she receives.

When the movie came to a close, I cried.  I wept over the storyline but also for the sheer brilliance in film making.  I’m one of the sappy people who tear up whenever I experience great talent.  When my daughter and I went to a concert over the summer and I stood in front of a musician I loved, playing a song that moved me, I couldn’t help it. Waterworks!   Years ago we went to The Lion King musical and my eyes were like a faucet the entire time.  I had never seen anything remotely like it.

I love when a movie impacts me beyond the watching and takes me to a place I have never been or would either wise get to experience.  I do hope, in a small way, my novels offer that to readers.

Beast came out in limited release initially and I have read that it will be rereleased shortly.  Do yourself a favor and take the time to see it.

I had planned to post a blog this week called Reviews: To Read or Not to Read.  Please check back next week for that one.

As always, I love to read your comments.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.