Bittersweet Deceit Release Party

Posted on August 4, 2014 by blakely

It’s so exciting to have another novel out! I honestly think it’s my best writing to date. Below are the links to buy.

Please join me on Facebook for the release event, games, and giveaways HERE.

Join the rafflecopter giveaway HERE.

Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Smashwords
iTunes

Why I Haven’t Been Writing

Posted on July 8, 2014 by blakely

I’ve been protecting myself. And in a place of self-protection, I can’t create, I can’t be vulnerable, I can’t be empathic to my characters. It’s not that the story isn’t there or that I’m stuck. I’m not. The truth is I don’t feel like writing another book. My heart hurts.

I’m a pretty intelligent sort and I know with all creative endeavors there are critics. So it would be beyond stupid of me to expect none. What I didn’t expect was mean. I have never written a mean review in my life because I know that if a story or a piece of art isn’t for me, it just isn’t. I don’t have to bash and shame and degrade other writers or artists. I don’t even have to understand their point.

Right now I’m exhausted and I’m pissing and moaning. Please forgive me. I’m just tired of pushing so hard. I wish I had the self-esteem of my husband (an enviable trait) because then I’d just brush off any negative review and focus on the abundance of positive ones. I’d persevere. And I will. I’ll get back to it. I’ll come out of hiding and let my guard down again, soon.

I’m in limbo waiting to see what happens with Bittersweet Deceit coming out August 5^th. Then I will decide if I want to continue chasing the dream full-time.

I just finished watching Brené Brown: Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count:

She makes an interesting point, well several, but the one I’m pointing out is about courage. She says it’s an important value to hold. Am I courageous? Sometimes I am. I think what I need more is tenacity.

Brené shared on her video my favorite quote of all time:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

― Theodore Roosevelt

Maybe I need to read the quote every single day! One hundred days in a row!

Make sure to check out the video above. It was a good reminder to me that only the courageous persevere.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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What Makes Us Happy?

Posted on June 23, 2014 by blakely

On Saturday night my husband, Dana, and I went to a dance and when…

…HAPPY started to play I thought about what really makes me happy. You might be surprised to learn that being an author—my dream job—so far hasn’t done that. I have happy moments for sure. Fabulous reviews, meeting my readers, forging new friendships, being satisfied with my writing but overall I honestly can’t say it’s made me happy on an ongoing basis. It can be hard, frustrating, annihilating, disheartening and many other adjectives. ME_293_WantYouToBeHappy Continue reading →

Impatient Much?

Posted on January 13, 2014 by blakely

That would be me. Patience has never been my strong suit. I remember being a kid and how waiting in line was pure torture for me—really—waiting for anything. That is, until I realized I could create a story in my head while I waited. Walking home from school, I would sing a song I made up on the fly or fantasized about my latest fictional adventure.

I guess you could say my impatience lead me to be an author. That and my love of reading. Continue reading →

What’s Trending Now

Posted on January 6, 2014 by blakely

As an author who writes erotica, it is incumbent on me to stay abreast (no pun intended) of the latest trends in sexual behavior. While doing research, I have recently discovered a study about the rise in reporting of women on women sex both here in the US and in the UK. It is believed that the change is due to the shift in society in regards to same sex relationships, allowing women to more comfortably explore different sides of their sexuality. In addition, the advent of the internet has made finding potential partners easier. Continue reading →

Happy Holidays

Posted on December 22, 2013 by blakely

I love this time of year because it gives us great reasons to reflect. 2013 brought many exciting events for which I’m thankful. My first novel, My Body-His came out in November of 2012, so I started off 2013 being a newly published author with Fanny Press. I experienced book signings for the first time and I must say, that was definitely a highlight. My Body-His (Marcello) came out in March 2013 and My Body-Mine was released in July 2013.

In addition, my husband, Dana Bennett, and I self-published The Demarcation of Jack. There was a stiff learning curve getting all the formatting just so, but with the help of a great editor and cover artist, we are thrilled with the outcome. Continue reading →

Whaaaaaat? Self Pleasure Over Intimacy?

Posted on September 23, 2013 by blakely

I find it incredibly fun to discover something I had absolutely no idea about, especially when I also find it baffling.

Did you know that some men sometimes PREFER masturbating over having sex? I had to wrap my brain around that one. I can’t imagine preferring to masturbate over having sex and my husband concurs (thanks honey!).

So I was chatting online with a friend from England and he told me this gem of information. I thought it might just be him, that men in general couldn’t possibly feel that way. Me being me, I decided to check it out and I was blown away that several other men said the same thing.

Sometimes they would rather watch porn and ride the edge of orgasm than have sex with their wives. Maybe that is saying something about their sex lives at home, but I’m just guessing. One man said that the sex with his wife had become so routine (her choice) that sometimes he would rather play on his own and search for the perfect porn to watch. Another man said that he likes to look at pictures and make it last a long time. Another guy said that masturbation is a way for him to act out his true desires because his wife is repressed.

I am happy to say that more than half the men I spoke to said they would much rather have sex than masturbate. Since I had assumed it was a given, I still find it shocking that men would rather jerk off than make love, fuck or have sex with a partner.

I do wonder if it’s the same for women. That’s definitely something to ponder.

As a writer, I’m always on the hunt for new word choices to describe the sex act and our private parts. I wrote a rather funny blog, at least I think so anyway, about words for the female anatomy which you can find here: Pussy Willow

When it comes to masturbation, I believe it’s a healthy outlet and a great way to learn about your body so you can teach what you like to others. There are lots of interesting terms to describe the act. For instance (A big thanks to my friends from the Naught Book Club for helping me with my list!):

1. Hand job
2. Five knuckle shuffle
3. Jerking off
4. Rubbing one out
5. Playing with yourself
6. Flying solo
7. Beating off
8. Diddle
9. Jacking off
10. Jilling off (Thanks Amber)
11. Pet the pussy
12. Wank
13. Slap the salami
14. Choke the Chicken
15. Wack the sack
16. Shooting off
17. Friggin’
18. Popping your nuts
19. Rosey Palm and her five sisters
20. Cranking the shaft
21. Spanking the monkey
22. Polishing the pole

As you can see the list could be endless. Feel free to add yours in the comment section.

No matter what we call it, I believe it’s a wonderful release we can give to ourselves. And as long as it doesn’t become an all-consuming activity, I say, “Yank the pud, fer sure.”

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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Blakely’s interview with Jane from the My Body Trilogy

Posted on September 16, 2013 by blakely

This week I’m sharing a blog post from my previous blog tour. It’s one of my favorites. Check out my interview with Jane.

Blakely: I’m very excited to interview you, Jane. It’s like a wonderful visit with an old friend.

Jane: Yes, we have been joined at the hip for quite a while now. 😉

Blakely: Without giving too much away (we wouldn’t want to spoil it for our readers) how are you doing these days?

Jane: Life is truly wonderful. I no longer look upon my past with shame and regret. I thankfully survived it all and came out stronger, happier and healthier on the other side. Nothing can compete with good love.

Blakely: Are you ready to dive into the interview?

Jane: Sure.

Blakely: Many of our readers and fans have a hard time understanding why you stayed so long with Luke. Can you explain it to them?

Jane: Luke provided an intense passion and connection that I never experienced before and when he was “good Luke” nothing in the world could touch the elation I felt from his touch and attention. Just his mere kiss caused me to melt. Unfortunately, there were two definite sides to him and he could be very cold and cruel. Like many woman who stay in unhealthy relationships, I thought if I could just do things “right”, I would live in bliss with him. Eventually my whole world was wrapped around Luke , his life; and it seemed like dying to be apart from him. We ultimately weren’t good for each other and I can see the part I played in our crazy dance. Looking back, I believe my poor relationships with my parents might have driven my desperation to make it work. I have wondered that if my father had been there for me the day that I called, would I have gone back to Luke? There’s no way to know now but it surely didn’t help my state of mind at the time.

Blakely: With the benefit of hindsight now, do you think your relationship with Luke was abusive as opposed to an alternative lifestyle? If so, at what point was that line crossed for you?

Jane: I think there were abusive moments through the course of the relationship but there were also large segments of time where his harsher tendencies took a back seat. This is a tricky question for me. I don’t have a vast amount of experience in the lifestyle but Marcello was pretty clear that Luke screwed things up in regards to me and my first forays into a Dom/sub relationship. The crossing the line bit is even harder to answer because that invisible line kept being pushed further and farther away from who I knew myself to be. The hardest crossing was when Luke sent me to Marcello’s which I adamantly fought against.

Blakely: Do you think Luke did the BDSM relationship the right way? Many of our readers were upset about how he used the so-called “safe words”.

Jane: I am positive that there are many different ways to have a Dom/sub relationship. Just through my talks with Janice and her experience, all of her BDSM relationships were different. I don’t think there is only one right way to go about it. However, the safe words with Luke were nothing of the kind and he should have called them something else.

Blakely: Do you feel that you really are a submissive or just masqueraded as one to please Luke?

Jane: This question made me laugh! My body unquestionably loves the submission. I wouldn’t say I was masquerading to please Luke but I did lose myself along the way trying to please him. I’m definitely NOT a natural submissive but sexually, it surely causes the most intense orgasms. 😉

Blakely: Do you think monogamy or children will be important to you at some point?

Jane: Absolutely to both.

Blakely: Do you foresee a positive relationship with either of your parents or has that ship sailed as far as you’re concerned?

Jane: My mother goes through a metamorphosis in My Body-Mine so read to find out about that.

Blakely: How did you feel being the object of desire for two men and a woman?

Jane: It completely changed the concept I held of myself. When you have two parents who don’t seem to like you very much, it definitely shapes your outlook on yourself. They (Luke, Janice, and Marcello) helped me to feel more desirable and Marcello encouraged me to feel more deserving of love.

Blakely: Who has been your most incredible lover?

Jane: Blakely, don’t you think that’s giving a bit too much away? They still need to read My Body-Mine!

Blakely: Yes, I guess you’re right. One last question then?

Jane: Yes, because you-know-who is waiting for me. 😉

Blakely: I’ll be quick. Do you think you will share your story with our readers about you-know-who and your future?

Jane: The trilogy is complete but I’ve heard rumors that you might right a prequel, Blakely, about Janice and Luke.

Blakely: Anything is possible but we shall see. Thank you, Jane, for your honest and open answers. I’m sure our readers appreciated your time.

The Nature of Reality

Posted on August 26, 2013 by blakely

I’ve skirted around this topic before, talking about people’s differing perceptions of the same situation. Do we ever really perceive reality as it actually is? Without filtering it, altering it through our filters of life experience? I really do not think so.

My husband and I watch Through the Worm Hole with Morgan Freeman and they had an amazing episode on reality. The part I remember had to do with the sounds “fa” and “ba”. Say fa and ba and see how differently they sit in your mouth. So, if you watch a video of someone saying the ba sound but is actually mouthing fa, you will actually hear fa. However if you close your eyes and don’t watch the mouth moving, you hear the actual ba sound. What does that all mean? Well to me it means that our brain filters information beyond just what is present.

My husband and I are on the opposite spectrum when it comes to storytelling. For me, accuracy (as accurate as I can be given my perception of reality) is most important. However, for my husband, who comes from a family of storytellers, the enjoyment of the story in humor or intensity is most important. So facts and details sometimes get over inflated or understated if it suits the story better.

I keep that in mind when I listen to people relating details to me. First off, I remind myself that there are many sides to an issue. When people talk in extremes and absolutes like, always, never, every day, for hours on end, etc., that’s a sign to me that they are inflating the details of the events.

I think reality TV is much like reality and if you are scoffing, please give me a moment to explain. In reality TV they reshoot scenes to make them better, just like we replay scenes in our head (which can actually alter our thinking of a situation when we are emotionally charged and reviewing events). Throw in other people who are equally emotionally charged and lots of drama and rewriting of history can ensue.

The best personal example happened to me in my early twenties. In a dorm I lived in where you had to sign up to use the laundry facilities. One day, during my time-slot, another woman was doing her laundry and seemed rather angry. I had never met her before. We had a very brief interaction where, at least to me, she seemed pissed off with me.

As a few weeks past, every time we crossed paths she seemed to be glaring in my direction. One day, after I couldn’t take it anymore, I drummed up the courage to ask her why she was angry at me. Turns out, she didn’t even remember who I was. All the rest of the drama, I created for myself. It was definitely one of the most eye opening experiences that really changed my outlook on life, perception and reality.

As a writer, I have to remember that it’s incumbent upon me to create a believable “reality” that readers can buy into. My characters are usually a great guide in letting me know what the “reality” of the situation really is. I tend to trust my muse but still do research when necessary.

So do we every truly know the true nature of reality? I don’t think so because we can’t help but filter it through our own life experiences.

Thanks for taking the time to read and please share your thoughts on the matter.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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