Tag Archives: writing

Evoking Attraction and Chemistry with the Written Word

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As an author who loves to craft stories about relationships; attraction and chemistry are phenomena I spend a lot of time thinking about. For instance, how the energetic pull looks and feels and how I can best communicate it on the page.

When I was in my early 20s, I met a guy out dancing and when we locked eyes, I felt riveted. He was the worst kind of match for me but oh my god, the chemistry was insane. He was a rock star kisser as well which didn’t help matters. However, he was in a really bad place in his life and emotionally unavailable. Our chemistry felt so intense that I could feel him when he entered the club without being able to see him and he always seemed to know what I was thinking.

Years later, I saw him again and I couldn’t even conjure a shred of that crazy attraction I had felt with him. I had grown up and so had he and it just wasn’t there anymore.

I find attraction and chemistry to be baffling at times and very unpredictable. I have had chemistry in the past with men who I didn’t even particularly like and then zero with men who I found very good looking and appealing. It’s amazing to me that getting to know someone can totally change their appearance to me for the good or the bad.

At other times in my life there have been people who I really liked and enjoyed but found zero chemistry and I mean that for physical attraction but sometimes with friendship chemistry as well. A woman not long ago moved into our community and we hit it off instantly, quickly finding a place where we could share the REAL stuff that we are dealing with in life. It seems like we’ve been friends for years and at the same time there are many people I have known for years and have forged no real connection.

Luckily for me, I still feel incredible chemistry with my husband. That seems to die out for many people in long-term relationships but I would have to venture a guess that attraction wanes as the connection wanes. For us, we grow closer and more connected as time passes and we get to share more of life’s adventures together.

I believe attraction, chemistry and/or connection aren’t always a rational process. I think they live outside of the realm of the conscious mind.

I have often wondered if wild and crazy attraction is couple with an emotionally bad mix. I played with that very notion in the My Body Trilogy.

For me, humor, intelligence, affection, creativity, transparency and openness really attracts me to the people in my life. What about you? What attracts you or pulls you in? Have you had experiences with crazy chemistry?

This blog was inspired by an English friend I know who finds laughter to be one of most attractive aspects of a woman. Thanks Rupert for the suggestion. 🙂

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) on Amazon here.

Unsolicited Advice

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An indie writer and I became friendly online and I anxiously awaited the release of her first book. I planned to review it for her but once I started it I knew I could not. I barely made it halfway through the first read. I desperately wanted to be supportive of her writing but found the manuscript poorly edited and the characters underdeveloped. She knew I was reading her work and I didn’t quite know how to best handle the situation. In hindsight, I probably should have kept my opinion to myself, but instead told her what I thought she could do to improve her story. She has never spoken to me since.

It’s plenty easy to find people who will tell you how good you are but not so easy to find someone to tell you the truth. Since writing is our product and most of us aspire to make a living at it, an honest opinion is the only way a storyteller can improve. Let me be clear that I’m not talking about the story itself but the proficiency of writing the tale.

You might have concluded that I have learned my lesson from the above experience but in an effort to truly support fellow writers, most especially indie writers, I’m going to go out on a limb and do it once again. What I am about to say is not from on-high as a writer but as an avid reader of fiction. When I read, I get lost in another world and will consume the story as if living on the written word and not come up for air until finished. That is if the book is well written and captivating.

I recently started to read two books that I downloaded from Amazon.  Although I am traditionally published, I support all authors equally and hoped to offer some positive reviews of the books as requested. Both seemed edited okay but each broke the cardinal rule of good story telling: SHOW DON’T TELL. I gave the authors 20 pages to draw me in and it did not happen.  In neither book did I meet the antagonist or find out the conflict of the story. You can chalk it up to preference and maybe that’s all that it comes down to but there are certain fundamentals that I think all writers should aspire to.

As a reader, I want to be drawn into the novel immediately. Please don’t pack the beginning of your book with backstory. You can intersperse the pertinent information as you’re getting on with the real story. Help me understand, in the first few pages, who the protagonist is and what makes him or her different and why I should care about them and what they’re experiencing in relationship to the antagonist.

Have your book professionally edited. Traditional publishing usually includes professional editing and indie authors, in my opinion, should aspire to the same standards. If at some point in my career, I decide to independently publish or my husband does, I promise you, we will get our work edited.

Not everyone will like any one story, even the ones that sell millions of copies so it’s easy to blow off my advice which is your right and prerogative, but don’t.  I know people don’t want to be stuck in the editing process forever but writing a great work of fiction does take many steps and I think we fail our audience when we rush it.

Will I offer unsolicited advice on a personal basis again?  Probably not.  I know in my heart my intent was good and pure but I lost a budding friendship in the process.

I’m still hunting for that newly published novel that blows me away so I can post a review of the story right here on my blog.

Come back next week to read my lighter blog on blowjobs. 😉

Please share your comments.

Warm hugs,

Blakely Bennett

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) on Amazon here.

Aging and Writing

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Picture me cleaning the house, headphones on, music thrumming in my ears as I belt out the tune. That’s when this blog came to me. Why, you might ask, did my brain formulate a blog on aging while I jammed to my tunes scrubbing the bathroom? Well, I’ll tell you. It partially had to do with the string of songs that played: Take it to the house by Trick Daddy, Savior by Rise Against, Already Gone by Crossfade, Stop this Train by John Mayer (I could go on but I won’t). My sixteen year old daughter and I have very similar taste in music and as I continued to sway and wipe, I recalled what my mother has often said, “I still feel twenty-five inside.” As a young woman, I didn’t really understand what she meant.

As a kid, adulthood stood as a far off magical place where decisions would become clearer and life easier. Now, as a woman in my forties, I understand the meaning of my mother’s sentiment. I too feel the same way, but I would say I feel more like twenty. 🙂 You will be happy to note that the illusion of adulthood has long ago been shattered and I understand that living a full life at any age comes with its challenges and rewards.

There are moments when I’m reminded that I’m NOT that young woman anymore. Although I still love to dance for hours on end, my body lets me know that grooving barefoot on a hard cement floor comes at a price.  I always think it’s worth it the day after, especially if I stretch when I’ve finished boogieing.

My husband often says that aging is a flawed system because as you grow wiser, your body grows crankier and that life is exceedingly too short. I sort of halfway agree.  I’m rather looking forward to the day, when I’m in my 60s (I’m guessing), that my appearance will matter a lot less and what people think of me or my writing won’t matter at all (Okay, maybe that last part is just plain delusion).

My husband and I just watched, Starting Out in the Evening on Sundance, which is a movie about an aging author, rather appropriate given what’s been on my mind and although I tend to shy away from slow plotting films, this one was wrought with sexual tension that kept me interested. One particular section of the movie, where the author talks about the writing process really moved me.  He discussed how he starts with a character and then follows the protagonist around, to find out more about him or her and what will happen. I can completely identify with that process. He also said that because he is older, it’s harder to follow and stay engaged than when he was a younger man.

The narrative of the movie told about the older writer in relationship with a twenty-five year old grad student that had decided to write her thesis about him and his novels.  I would guess him to be in his eighties and obviously conflicted about their age difference. He had published four books in total and had been working on his fifth for ten years. I won’t give anymore of the story away other than to say that I don’t think we, as authors, stop caring what our readers think of our work, no matter how old.

In Stephen King’s On Writing, he mentioned that he has less stamina for writing than he did in the early days.  Maybe I will find this true as I get older but I believe that when the tidal wave of the story takes over, I will be typing as fast as ever to stay afloat.

As an author myself, writing is my art and I hope it translates to other people regardless of my age. It’s so very rewarding when my readers are truly moved by my words and “get it” (“Get it”, is defined by seeing it the way I do. If they don’t, that is okay too unless they compare me to 50 Shades of Grey which is a different genre and then I want to scream. Sorry for the aside which should probably be another blog and might morph into one in the future. 😉 ).

I, so very turned on by the written word, intend to keep writing until I’m too old to type another letter.  At least that’s the plan.

Please share your viewpoint on aging and writing because I always love to hear from my readers and other authors.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) on Amazon here.

Pussy Willow

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As a writer, I happen to love words and it’s exciting when I learn a new one.  Some of my all-time favorites are flibbertigibbet (I love how that one feels in my mouth), oxymoronic, and conniption fit which is actually a phrase but also fun to say.

When it comes to the female genitalia, words to name and describe are sorely lacking.  For example, pussy denotes a weak man and cunt a hard woman and for whatever reason, cunt has become beyond a four letter word to many people, most especially women.  We are left with vagina which sounds rather clinical or crotch which sounds rough and masculine.

At least for the male genitalia we have phallus which is a strong, almost statuesque word, or cock which is perfectly fine and only denotes an overly confident man in the form of cocky.  We can live with that one I think.  Dick is okay but falls more along with pussy and cunt because an assholic man can be referred to as a dick.

As indebted as I feel toward E. L. James, I have to admit that using “there” to refer to the pussy isn’t at all appealing to me.

If you haven’t figure this out already, finding new ways to describe sex and body parts is a huge part of being an effective erotic writer and that is why this matters so much to me.  And if you have any issues with the ones I used above, hold your hat for far more insulting and scary ones.  Please forgive me in advance for some that I found online and have to share for the mere offensiveness of them.

Here goes: Bearded clam (That is disgusting on so many levels! Must stay away from all seafood references.), Soft Shell Tuna Taco (OMG! Rule two, stay away from any food references unless you are using cherry to describe the color of her inner folds.), Camel Toe, Slit, Pit (I could live with slit but it would have to be in context), Cum Dumpster, Fuzzy Taco, Beaver (eww, eww, and eww), Sweaty Love Box, Choochie, Snake Pit (Can you imagine… He forced his python into her snake pit. Blah!), Peach (Okay, I might have to have a second exception to the food list but only to be used in a romance novels. 🙂 ), Holster, Snatch, Chonch (No, no and most definitely no. Well unless it’s a hokey western romance where he slides is revolver into her holster. Nah, I’ll stick with the no.), Tunnel of Love, Joy Trail, and Sex (The first two are bit too romancey for me but not offensive and Sex might be used in the right place although hardly descriptive.).

I could go on and on sharing words that are used to describe the beautiful, flowering entrance to a woman’s body and soul but I will leave you with a few that I like and a few I don’t understand in the least.  Maybe you can sort me out on those.

Explain these please: Arm Sleeves – I’m no prude but I’m not sure what this means? Is this a vaginal fisting reference? Cooter – This is a turtle.  How is that relevant?  Mace – Because it temporarily disables a man?  Please feel free to enlighten me.

Here are some that I found funny: Bloomin’ Onion, Masturbation Contingency Plan, Next to the Butt Nut Hut, Lovin’ Oven, Erection Correction Trench, and Velvet Underground.

Some that are not so heinous: Pussy Willow, Honey Pot, Cozy, Mound, Sheath, and Womanhood but honestly none that I could see using other than “mound”: He quickly pulled out his hard cock and came all over her mound. Or something like that.

Please share with me your words for the female genitalia as I am always game to learn something new. And you never know, it might end up in My Body-Mine. 😉

I hope your new year is getting off to a great start!

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.

Or follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.

Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) for pre-sale on Amazon here.